


It's Always Been Us

by azyland, bird_on_a_wire



Category: The Last Kingdom (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Denial of Feelings, Drunk Sex, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:07:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 38,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27017020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azyland/pseuds/azyland, https://archiveofourown.org/users/bird_on_a_wire/pseuds/bird_on_a_wire
Summary: "You know, I've kissed both of you, and yet you've never kissed each other."In this Modern AU,  Finan, Hild and Uhtred decide to risk years of friendship for a week of uninhibited fun while on holiday.
Relationships: Finan/Hild (The Last Kingdom), Finan/Hild/Uhtred of Bebbanburg, Finan/Uhtred of Bebbanburg, Hild/Uhtred of Bebbanburg
Comments: 48
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For Uhtred, who we tried to edit out each chapter. Your resilience is noted.

"Can you please go check on the kids?" Hild asks, looking up at Uhtred, who has arranged and rearranged his children's passports and airline tickets for the fourth time. He looks up, his face slightly panicked, and for a moment, Hild is reminded of that first day she saw him in their Philosophy 101 class wondering where he should sit. "Teddy is giving Finan a hard time." Hild motions down the hall where they can hear the teenager's arguing increasingly getting louder.

"Right. Yes. Teddy!" Uhtred takes off down the hall, leaving Hild blissfully alone in the kitchen as she washes up the dishes from dinner. Hild sighs and rolls her neck, only one day to go, and then Uhtred's children will be on a plane to Denmark to stay with their mother for the next month. At the thought of Gisela, Hild looks at the wall of pictures Uhtred has in the dining room and to the framed photo of the four of them, Gisela, Uhtred, Hild, and Finan, at Uhtred's graduation. 

Hild remembers the day, so clearly, it's like it was yesterday instead of over a decade ago. She met Uhtred on her second day of uni, at 8am in her first Philosophy class. After a few failed attempts at chatting her up, she ended up in a study session with him. That very next weekend, the only studying happened in Uthred's bed. Hild started university with only one goal, get a Ph.D. Uhtred, or any boy for that matter, was never part of her plan, which she made abundantly clear from the start. Uhtred begrudgingly agreed. They spent the next few months exclusively having sex together, but where it was  _ a thing _ for Uhtred, it had always been a  _ fling _ for Hild. It took months to realize how terrible they were at communicating, and they wanted utterly opposite things in life. By then, Uhtred had wormed his way into becoming her friend, and although they stopped being an item, they stayed close. 

During this "breakup," Uhtred met Finan. He was already in his third year when Hild and Uhtred were freshmen and worked as a bartender, where Uhtred got his first job. It was a nice bar considering most of the clientele were broke students. Finan was quickly pulled into Uhtred and Hild's platonic duo, and within a few weeks, they were a trio. Finan was funny and easy to like, easy to love even. He had a wild streak, good looks, and an Irish accent that worked very well for him. He also had his fair share of the many women -and gentlemen- who frequented the bar on campus. No, Finan was never ashamed to use his charm to his advantage. Even Hild had fallen for it after a few too many drinks one night. It led to several rounds of enthusiastic fucking, but that had ended as quickly as it began. 

And then came Gisela, the fourth and final member of their little unit. She was visiting her brother in her dorm, and Uhtred had been taken with Gisela from the start. They'd hooked up a few weeks after Hild and Uhtred called it quits.

It was strange to think about who they'd been then and see where they were now. Good jobs, houses, even children. A far cry from the many all-nighters they'd shared studying or drinking. Maybe they could have predicted it on the last day of freshman year. Uhtred had sat Hild and Finan down on his dingy dorm bed, and he looked so severe, Hild thought someone had died. She remembers Finan holding her hand in his sweaty palm and his foot tapping the floor nervously. Beside Uhtred, Gisela looked radiant when they announced Gisela was pregnant, and they were getting married next Sunday. Shocked wasn't strong enough of a word to describe how she felt. A baby! The four of them had already planned to move in together for the following semester, and baby Teddy arrived not long after the end of their first year. What followed were a few challenging but incredibly satisfying years. Gisela and Uhtred had a second baby, Stiorra, just in time for Uhtred to graduate with a newborn in his arms. 

University had been everything Hild wanted; she loved learning, and studying history was her dream come true. She loved it so much, she had never left. After getting her master's degree in British history, Hild started teaching. The day she finished the Ph.D., she registered to get a second doctorate in Theology. And ironically, Hild was now teaching in the same university she went to, and her main class is taught in the same room she met Uhtred. 

The creak in the floor of the hallway caught in her ears and pulls Hild back in the present. She turns to see Teddy, now almost a teenager, walking into the kitchen. He looks more and more like Uhtred every day, including the swoop of his bottom lip in full pout. "Come here, my half child," Hild says, wiping her hands on a towel as she pulls him into a hug, kissing the top of his head. Hild had been in Teddy's life since the day he was born, and she considered him at least half hers. Even if she didn't have any real claim outside of being his godmother. In a year, maybe less, he'll probably be taller than her, and it seems crazy to think that once he was a tiny baby who would fall asleep in the crook of her arm. "Why are you giving your Dad and Finan such a hard time?" Teddy sighs, shrugging his shoulders until she raised eyebrows, finally drawing a response from him. "I'm happy to go see Mum, but I hate having to travel all the way to Denmark. I want to go on vacation with you and Dad and Finan. Can't I go with you and Stiorra can go see Mum?"

"No, my love. Your mum is so excited to see you again. I heard all the plans she has for you guys. It will be so much fun." Teddy tries to look enthusiastic, but his smile barely reaches the most pathetic of attempts. 

"Astrid isn't as fun as you or Finan." 

"Give Astrid a break, Teddy. It's weird being a stepmom. It's hard to develop a new family unit."

"It's not weird for you!" 

Hild barks out a laugh, shaking her head. "I am not your stepmom. We just got lucky that I met you before you could talk back. Now, off to bed." 

He looks at her for a moment, and for the first time since he was born, Hild can't quite read the look on his face. "Goodnight, Hild," he says, giving her one last squeeze before he lopes back down the hallway toward his bedroom, calling for his dad.

Hild knows the divorce was hard on the kids and on Uhtred. Still, Gisela's decision to leave wasn't something she'd come to quickly. Hild remembers Gisela surprising her on campus that day in late spring almost 6 years ago now. 

They'd gotten coffee, having barely taken a sip before Gisela broke down crying. Gisela had explained between sobs how much she loved Uhtred, but she wasn't  _ in love  _ with him. Gisela told Hild she had done so much soul searching and found it wasn't Uhtred at all. It was men in general. She told Hild she'd tried so long to ignore it because she loved Uhtred so much, but she couldn't live in a lie anymore. 

In the end, Gisela and Uhtred had separated, living together for a year before Gisela decided to move to Denmark. The decision had upset the children, mostly when they had decided the kids would stay in England with Uhtred. It had been around then when she and Finan started pitching in more again. Stars had aligned for Hild, who had just gotten a more manageable class schedule and was able to be more present as well. The school drop-offs and pick-ups as a single dad had made Uhtred into a mess. After three weeks and six concerned calls from the after-school daycare for him being late, they'd finally worked out a system between Uhtred, Hild, and Finan. Uhtred had refused to ask for their help, but Finan had swooped in, stolen the school calendar, and made a schedule that worked for everyone. He told Uhtred to stop arguing, and that had been that. They were a unit, and they would make it work. And work it did, because five years later, that routine has become their life.

"I swear to God if I have to hear about one more pokemon and what they evolve into…" Finan mutters, wandering into the kitchen and grabbing the pizza boxes from dinner, breaking them down, and folding them to fit into the recycling bin. "I can't wait to only have one responsibility. My drink." Only one more night before all of them, the adult anyway, left for a week vacation in a villa in Hungary. The dream. 

"I'm going to drink sangria right out of the pitcher," Hild replies, wiping her hands on the towel as she finishes the dishes. 

"Ellie makes a mean Sangria," agrees Finan, in between folding a pizza box. 

"The secret is rosé and grapefruit juice." Eahlswith, or Ellie as she liked to be called, was Hild's younger sister. By far, Ellie was the more creative of the two, and anything she created had the magical ability to be either beautiful or delicious. Although a few years separated them, they always had been pretty close.

Finan nods and starts pulling the bag out of the garbage bin to bring it to the curb. "Did Ellie confirm if we needed to pick her up tomorrow?"

"She's going to come to the house instead, and we can drive there together."

"Sihtric is coming to the house, too..." 

"I've seen the size of your SUV, Finan, I think we can squish five in with all the luggage." 

"What can I say? I need something that reflects my...personality." 

Despite herself, Hild laughs and wraps her arms around Finan as he does the same to her. "God, this vacation will be so great. I'm so tired," he says, resting his chin on the top of her head. Finan and Uhtred, who worked together for Wessex & co. had worked really hard on a big project that took the better part of their year without a single break. They finally closed off the project two weeks ago and had gotten a week off. Uhtred, on a whim, decided to book a considerably large villa in Hungary and invite them to go spend 10 days in their bathing suit by the pool. Along with Sihtric and Osferth, who worked with them on the project and had gotten close, Uhtred's brother Ragnar, his wife Brida, and Ellie.

"All good?" Finan asks Uhtred as he walks into the kitchen, shirtless, a laundry basket on his hip. 

"Yeah, the kids are in bed," Uhtred says. "I'm doing some last-minute laundry. Do you need anything done?"

Hild laughs. "Uhtred, we already packed our stuff at our flats, you remember those places we pay outrageous amounts of money to live here half the time." 

"Oh, right." He sighs, shaking his head. "I'm just a bit nervous about the kids flying tomorrow." Every year, Uhtred would work himself in a frenzy about the kids leaving for a long time. Teddy and Stiorra being older now, didn't soothe his poor tender heart.

"Alright, sit down." Hild takes the laundry basket from him and puts it on the floor. Finan grabs them a couple of beers and slides one over to each of them. 

"Actually," Finan says, as he takes a swig of his beer. "I can't find my red swim shorts. I think I left them hanging on the deck yesterday. I'm going to run and check." He left his beer on the counter and moved past Hild to step out onto the deck. Hild watches Uhtred from across the counter as he slowly starts to relax. 

"Thanks for doing the dishes," Uhtred says after he notices the clean kitchen behind her. 

Hild laughs, "anything to not hear about the evolution of Pikachu." 

"Those are my short!" shout Uhtred when he spots Finan coming back into the house with the missing swim shorts.

"I bought them last year in Greece! I even sent you all a picture that made Hild almost pee her pants." Finan argues back. 

"No! That's not them?" 

Hild grabs them with a laugh and throws them in the laundry basket Uhtred brought out. "They are definitely Finan's, but you can fight over clothes tomorrow when we are living in a _mansion_ in Hungary." she teases.

Finan stands next to Uhtred, his hip bumping against Uhtred's knees, and he says, "At least all the fucking hours we put in paid off, we rented a mansion for Hild." 

"I don't even care about the house, I just want to float in the hot tub for twelve hours straight," says Uhtred, with his eyes closed, probably picturing said hot tub. He has a hand on his shoulders, and he massages it absentmindedly. 

"Is your shoulder bothering you again?"

Uhtred's old football injury flares up every once in a while, and he always denies it, but they both know him better than that. "It's fine."

Finan pushes away his hand and takes over, rubbing his shoulder for him. "You are so fucking stubborn. No wonder Teddy talks back."

Hild gives him a look, and Finan laughs with a shrug. "Takes one to know one."

  
*** * *** ****

The plane ride was comfortable enough. Even though Finan sat beside Uhtred, who was a ball of stress the entire time, making it impossible for him to nap. Sending Teddy and Stiorra by themselves was always nerve-wracking, even for Finan, if he was honest with himself. Instead of resting, Finan worked on a crossword with Hild and ruthlessly beat Uhtred at candy crush for two hours. Only once they finally touched down, and Uhtred was able to reach Gisela, who had just picked up the kids, did it feel like their vacation can start. 

Ragnar, Uhtred's brother, and his wife Brida joined them at the airport, along with Osferth and his new girlfriend, Eadith. It's chaotic to move all those people to the house they rented, but after a short cab ride, they spread out in the gorgeous villa they will call home for the next week or so. It feels a little unreal to Finan to be here, surrounded by everyone in such a place. Not only is the house absolutely breathtaking, but the terrace also overlooks a massive swimming pool. The entire home is surrounded by giant, ancient chestnut and pine trees, giving a cozy feel. 

They all spent a lazy afternoon getting settled, although getting settled mostly meant napping to Finan. When he wakes up, Finan's alone on the top floor he shares with Hild and Uhtred, but he finds a damp bikini drying on the side of the shower door and Uhtred's toiletries by the sink. It comforts Finan to see little pieces of home even all the way here. He takes an hour-long shower, fingers pruning, and the mirror fogging before he finally steps out and gets dressed for dinner. His stomach is rumbling, and Finan can smell steaks being grilled downstairs.

The table was set on the patio, little twinkle lights and ambient lighting illuminate the place giving it a magical feel. When Finan steps out, everyone is already sitting around the table, chatting and sipping wine. 

"Finally up, sleeping beauty?" Hild mocks gently when he pulls a chair beside her, but she softens the blow by giving him a glass of Pinot noir.

"I considered not coming down, but it smelled too good to pass up." There is no way Finan will miss out on dinner, which they both know, but Hild doesn't push him when the food appears in front of them, served by the complimentary table service that comes with the villa. 

"So Eadith," Sihtric asks, taking a sip of wine as Eadith gives him a raised eyebrow. "How did you and Osferth meet?" Finan knows he's trying to make Eadith feel welcome since most of them already know each other.

Sihtric and Osferth work alongside Finan and Uhtred and just finished their biggest project to date together, bringing them closer than ever. Hild and Ellie are an integral part of their little group, and Ragnar being so close to Uhtred, he feels more like a friend then the brother of his best friend. 

"Well," Eadith begins and explains how she saved Osferth from himself, as he was about to cross the street and was almost hit by a car, and then they took the tube together by coincidence. "We kept talking the whole ride," Eadith says, looking at Osferth fondly. 

"And it took me all 16 stops to work up the courage to ask for her number," Osferth says, but Eadith is grinning, and she leans over to give him a quick kiss. 

"Ballsy!" Sihtric says as Uhtred whistles, and everyone laughs. Finan can't help but smile. He raises his glass to Osferth and gives the younger man a nod. Finan remembers how shy Osferth was when he joined his father's company. Four years ago, Osferth could barely mutter his name to the receptionist when she asked him a question. Now there he is, with Eadith, an absolute looker and smart woman, by his side. Finan couldn't be prouder. 

"And you said yes?!" Jokes Brida with Eadith, though you can never tell with her. "What convinced you? The puppy eyes?" Eadith nods and agrees with her, the entire table erupting with laughter. Hild's laugh is full and infectious, and Finan is half mesmerized just by how pretty Hild is tonight. She's wearing this cute summer dress with her hair loose, and the tense way she usually holds her shoulders is finally gone. It's good to see her relax like this. Hild motions Finan to where she's pushing her unfinished piece of steak off of her plate onto his. She steals the roasted pepper from his plate in exchange. 

"That is such a cute story," says Ellie. "Nowadays, people only meet on the internet, and more often than not, apps like Tinder are a dumpster fire." 

Finan, Hild, and Sihtric are the ones to laugh and agree with her, being the single ones in their group. Finan has had a few more or less serious relationships in his life, but nothing that ever lasted more than a year or two - if it lasted that long. It's been a while now since his last hook up. Finan can't even remember the last date he had. Was it before Christmas? There was definitely snow on the ground. 

"Tinder is only good for hookups, it starts hot and fizzles fast!" Uhtred doesn't even look in Finan's direction,  he just stares intently at his filet mignon. But, damned if Finan is going to pass this opportunity to tease Uhtred about one of Finan's favorite stories - Skade. Finan claps Uhtred on the arm, "You have a hot an d sizzling story from Tinder, don't you Uhtred?" Uhtred met Skade not long after the divorce, hoping to take his mind off and get back in the game. After a week on Tinder, he met Skade, and they went on a single date, shared a single drink, and had a single shag - not so great from what he'd told Finan. After, Skade had called Uhtred her soulmate. She'd called him every day and even talked about tattooing his name on her—terrifying lady. Brida had to get involved, and Finan did not want to know what she did and said to convince Skade to back off. All Finan knows is that he never wants to cross Brida and find out for himself. He likes his balls where they are. 

"We don't need to go there," Uhtred grunts, and he changes the subject back on Eadith, asking her where she works. When everyone stops talking and looks at him, he kicks Finan's shin under the table, making Finan laugh. What are best friends for if not to rub your sexual misadventures in your face? Thankfully Brida laughs too. 

"Oh, I never tire of hearing about the disaster that was Skade," Brida says, pouring herself more seltzer. 

"Skade?" asks Ellie, and Finan sees Hild mouth to her she'll tell her about it later, snickering behind her wine glass. 

"Eadith is an Executive Chef!" Osferth says, taking pity on Uhtred and changing the topic to answer Uhtred's question. "She runs the kitchen at Wulf." 

Eadith tells them stories about the restaurant and has them all howling with laughter before saying she saw dessert in the fridge. "I never have time to bake or make sweets anymore, but the profiterole looks legit," Eadith says. 

Hild and Ellie offer to get them, and they disappear into the villa, each leaving with a pile of plates. Osferth uncorks another bottle of red and white, topping up everyone's glasses. 

Finan sips his wine, "When are you the two of you heading out on your second part of the vacation?" he asks Brida.

"In three days," Brida says, smiling at Ragnar before turning back to Finan. "We rented a car, so we will drive to Slovenia, from there to Vienna and through Slovakia before flying back home to England."

Ragnar laughs, shaking his head. "Brida is determined for us to visit fifty countries before we turn fifty." 

"Which means we better get on it quickly, old man." She teases, but leans over and gives him a kiss. 

Hild and Ellie return, and Finan sees Hild's made a plate extra full, setting it down in front of Uhtred. Finan appreciates the little things she does for him, like how she knows he doesn't really have a sweet tooth, and he'll just want a taste from Uhtred's instead of his own. Before Finan can even grab his fork to steal a bite, Uhtred swings his knife in Finan's direction to give him a taste of the profiterole. They  _ are _ delightful, as usual, but two bites in, he sticks to coffee.

*** * ***

"Remind me again, why do we get all the stairs?" jokingly complains Hild, with a laugh. She is happily tipsy from a night of drinking Brida-made margaritas, followed by Sihtric's famous mojitos. She and Finan climb their way up to the villa's top floor, with Uhtred somewhere behind them. The three of them had opted to take the house's loft floor, as the three bedrooms shared a bathroom, and sharing a bathroom wouldn't be as weird for them as it would have been for the others. 

They'd spent the evening exploring the house, drinking a few too many cocktails. When they'd finally called it a night, Finan had forced Hild and Uhtred to drink a glass of water and eat a piece of bread before going to bed. He'd gloated as usual that he was barely inebriated due to his Irish blood. Hild will probably have to pee all night, but it's not her first rodeo drinking with Finan, and she knows it works to keep the hangover at bay. Her mind is already starting to clear, and she's regained most of her balance by the time they make it upstairs. 

"This is too comfy for words," Hild groans, draping herself half on the couch and half over Finan. He lets her get comfortable, his head tipped back, and eyes closed, enjoying the moment. She pretends to yawn, but really it's a pretense to inhale against Finan's shirt. Sober, she probably wouldn't admit this since he's one of her best friends, but she's kind of addicted to his scent. She hasn't quite got it pinned down as to the source, maybe a mix of his laundry soap and his deodorant, but it does things to her. Things she promptly pushes into a deep dark box never to be analyzed again. 

She can hear Uhtred coming up the stairs, and she wants him to cuddle with them instead of the ruckus he's causing on the stairs.

" Look what I found! Or maybe stole…" He says, as he makes his way over to where Hild and Finan are lounging. 

"What? You can't steal shit here, Uhtred you rented the place!" Hild says, her eyes opening comically wide and looking at him appalled. 

"Calm down Hild, it's booze," he says, holding up a bottle of champagne. "It's all just going to get added to our bill at the end." He sprawls on the couch with them, his body against Hild's and a heavy hand on her calf petting her absentmindedly. They giggle and pop open the bottle like they've never opened a bottle of champagne before in their life. 

Finan gives them a menacing look. "If you start drinking again, I'm going to make you eat more bread and drink more water."

Hild laughs and puts her hand over his mouth to shush him. "Stop being a spoiled sport and live a little. Imagine you're in university all over again. Just like old times." Finan rolls his eyes, but he can't hold back his smile under her palm. He pulls her hand away to steal the bottle from Uhtred and takes a swig, his eyes playful as he rises to her challenge. 

"Look," Uhtred says, standing back up abruptly. "I'm paying a fortune for this place, I want to drink in the hot tub." 

"I'm in!" Hild says, not evening waiting for Finan's response before running to her room to change. She'd packed a few different bathing suits at Ellie's insistence. Still, despite Finan plying her with bread and water, the margaritas, mojitos, and now champagne has made her feel bolder than usual. She settles on a two-piece bathing suit she might not have chosen otherwise as it covers all the necessary parts. However, it still leaves little to the imagination. Given how Hild is feeling right now, she's okay with that. She's on vacation, after all. And if she notices Finan and Uhtred do a subtle double-take when she meets them back in the loft's foyer, that doesn't hurt either. 

Bottle in hand, they make it down one flight of stairs, careful to remain silent and not wake anyone, when Hild freezes and stops in her track. The sounds filtering from down the hall can only be one thing, Brida and Ragnar are  _ enjoying _ themselves thoroughly. The two guys almost barrel into her. She looks over her shoulder at them with wide eyes, her mouth in the shape of an O. Brida is not what Hild would categorize as a quiet lover. Hild has to slap her hand over her mouth when Brida's moans start veering on the edge of downright theatrical. Still, there's something kind of sexy about hearing other people having sex, and when Hild says as much, Uhtred pretends to gag at the idea. 

"It is kinda hot," Finan agrees, as they resume their trek downstairs, leaving Brida and Ragnar to whatever semblance of privacy they have left. 

'Ugh, no it really isn't," Uhtred says, shaking his head. "I don't need to hear my brother and sister-in-law having sex, thanks." 

Finan pushes him playfully. "I'm sure someone heard you have sex once or twice, Uhtred! Come on, tell us!"

"Well, you guys lived with me when I got married, you tell me." 

"That doesn't count!" Hild says as they reach the main floor. "We are too close for that to count by now." She grabs some towels from a closet, and they head outside as Finan regales them how once someone heard him have sex in the changing room of John Lewis, the clothing store.

"The store clerk banged on the door right before the guy came down my throat. Remember, Oliver?" Finan says, laughing and Hild gasps. 

"I liked Oliver! I never thought he would be up for public sex." 

Finan winks at her, "I've a few tricks up my sleeves." Hild flushes, that champagne is really making her ridiculous tonight. "Uhtred, you and Gisela for sure got up to public stuff, you could barely remember to close your bedroom door back when we were roommates!" 

"I don't kiss and tell," Uhtred says, and Hild can't help but giggle. She knows for a fact that Uhtred and Gisela got caught having sex in his car once, but she'll let him have his moment. Finan turns on the spa, and the jets whir to life, filling the hot tub with bubbles. 

"What about you?" Finan asks Hild as she's stepping into the tub. 

Hild shrugs and avoids his eyes. Finan intimately knows the answer to this question, and she's suddenly shy to admit in front of Uhtred. "Maybe I'm very boring and don't have public sex, unlike you two. Have you ever thought of that?" she says, which even to her sounds like a lie. 

Finan and Uhtred laugh, and Finan gives her a "hmmm" as he takes another swig of champagne before he hands it to Uhtred. "This one time, I fucked a crazy girl in the bathroom of the bar," Finan confesses in a conspiratorial tone.

Hild feels herself blush. She knows very well who the crazy girl is and which bar bathroom Finan is hinting at. "The bar? Our bar?" Uhtred asks, very loudly, and both Hild and Finan shush him. Finan nods, hiding a snort behind another swig of champagne, proud like a peacock. 

Hild can't take his alpha male smirk for more than a second, and she hits him on the arm "You dick!" before stealing the bottle from him and taking a long gulp herself. 

"You let him do it in our bar in a bathroom?" Uhtred whisper-yell at her, appalled by the choice 20-year-old Hild made.

Not missing a beat, Finan looks straight into her eyes and detours her attention from Uhtred; he replies sharply, "Why do you think it was you?" 

"Oh." Hild hasn't felt so affected by him in years. The hot tub and the champagne are apparently going to her head. She's surprisingly disappointed to realize she was just one of a slew in the bar bathroom, which is stupid. He was a fling over 10 years ago, and it was a bathroom in a bar for god sake!

"It was you." Finan winks at her, and Hild shakes her head when a happy feeling blooms in her stomach and settles hot between her legs, encompassing everything. She pushes it back down and gives the bottle to Uhtred when he makes grabby hands, mumbling under his breath that he wasn't expecting that confession tonight. 

Hild sits back and is happy to watch them banter playfully in the water, the bubbles and the light hitting their defined muscle just so. She's mesmerized by the way Uhtred's lips fit against the mouth of the bottle, the movement of his throat as he swallows. Her attention fights between that and the way Finan's eyes crinkle when he laughs at one of Uhtred's dumb jokes, the way his own mouth drinks from the bottle.  _ Jesus Christ.  _ Hild thinks, rubbing her hand over her face.  _ I'm too drunk for this. This champagne is making me ridiculously horny.  _ She watches Finan splash Uhtred, Uthred holding the bottle up to Finan's mouth to pour the champagne in. A dangerous idea forms in her mind.  _ Or maybe I'm just the perfect amount of drunk for this.  _

"Give me that bottle," Hild says, stealing the bottle from Uhtred, chugging back a big swallow for a little bit of liquid courage. "You know, I've kissed both of you, and yet you've never kissed each other." 

Both men laugh, rolling their eyes at her. "I guess we missed that on the crazy college experience bingo card," Finan says. 

"Yeah, too late now," Uhtred says, taking the bottle back from Hild. 

"Is it though?" Her question rings out, followed by silence as Uhtred and Finan look at each other and back at her. Time feels suspended. They are toeing a line they never thought to cross before. But they aren't saying an outright no, and Hild will take it. "Maybe it's like Vegas. You know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? I think it's only fair," she says, leaning back against her side of the hot tub, arms resting on the edge as she watches them. 

"Hild…" Uhtred says, giving her a look, which she easily translates into  _ dangerous territory _ , but she ignores him. 

"I'll even give you a reminder if you're such nervous nellies." She doesn't know where that comes from, but it's not nearly enough just to see them kiss. She wants to kiss them too. She knows Uthred is right and that this is crazy, but sometimes an itch must be scratched. 

Finan laughs, relaxing against the side of the hot tub and eyes shiny with interest. "I'm not nervous." 

"Me either," says Uhtred, just a touch too quick to be believable.

Hild stands up and wades over to Finan's corner, moving to stand in front of him. She can feel Finan's legs against hers, and he looks up at her with a grin, his hand brushing against her thigh under the water before she leans down, pressing her mouth against his in a quick brush of their lips. After they part, he licks his lips, and Hild's thighs squeeze together involuntarily. Not to be distracted, she turns to Uhtred, who's not looking quite as smug as Finan was, but twice as intense. She bends to kiss him, the same chaste kiss she gave Finan. Uhtred's hand cups the side of her face, sinking into her hair as he kisses her back. They kiss softly at first, but quickly it grows more intense than Hild anticipated. She inhales slightly, her mouth opening against his, and for the first time in over a decade, Uhtred's tongue slides in her mouth. Hild realizes she's missed feeling a man under her, the taste of his tongue in her mouth. She sighs into him and wants to melt in his embrace. 

"Oy! I didn't know that was an option!" says Finan indignantly, causing Hild to step back, flustered but still determined to see her goal through. 

Hild clears her throat and steadies herself. "Okay, now you two," she says, moving her hands in the space between the two of them. 

Finan and Uhtred look at each other, and in one fell swoop, Finan scoots beside Uhtred and leans in, quickly pressing his mouth against Uhtred's. Hild holds her breath until she sees Uhtred relax and kiss Finan back, just as fast. 

"Oh," Finan says, his tone light and teasing. "I don't get the same kind of kiss that Hild got?" 

"Is that what you want?" Uhtred asks, and Finan nods as Uhtred's mouth captures back his lips. Their tongues slide over each other, the kiss going from slow to frenzied within seconds. It might be the hottest thing Hild has ever seen. 

Finan pulls away from Uhtred reluctantly, keeping an arm around him but extending the other one in Hild's direction. "Get over here, minx." Uhtred's mouth bites at Finan's jaw, kissing his way along Finan's neck as Hild finds herself pulled down, kneeling over Finan's lap. "This is the kiss I should have gotten earlier." 

He kisses her hard, barely giving her pause before his tongue is sliding into her mouth. Hild responds, the sensation of not only Finan's mouth and tongue overwhelming her but his beard scratching at her skin and his body beneath her. Uhtred's hand on her thigh draws her out of the kiss, and it feels natural to turn her head and find Uhtred's mouth there, soft and urgent. It's not quite as rushed as the first kiss. She pulls Finan into their kiss. Their mouths alternating in a mix of lips and teeth and tongues until Hild draws back slightly just to take a breath, her bottom lip catching between her teeth when she looks between the two of them. Finan doesn't waste a beat for things to be awkward or uncertain. He slips his hands over her hips and turns her around to sit with her back against his chest. He leans down and kisses her neck, pushing her legs open with one broad palm, his hand dragging up the inside of her thigh but stopping just before he reaches her bikini bottom. Instead, he teases her, staying out of reach and leaving her panting with want.

As if Finan and Uhtred have communicated silently, Hild suddenly finds herself at the center of their attention. Uhtred moves to crouch in front of her. His mouth nipping at her ear lobe, the tip of his tongue teasing the soft skin below her ear. That, coupled with Finan's hands rubbing all over the curves of her body, is almost too much. She can feel Finan's dick, hard against her back, and Uhtred's pressed in front. It makes the ache between her thighs urgent. When Uhtred crowds in close, alternating between kissing Hild and Finan, Hild feels dizzy and overwhelmed in the best possible way. 

"You good?" Finan asks, his hands resting just below her breasts. "Can I take off your bikini top?" 

"God, yes," she says, and he wastes no time peeling it off of her. It feels even more real when she realizes she's almost naked  _ between _ them.

"Can I…" Uhtred asks, he almost looks pained, and she laughs, nodding as she lets her head rest back against Finan's chest. Uhtred groans when he touches her, his hands cupping both her breasts in his hands. Uhtred's thumbs come up to rub over her nipples, slightly pebbled from the cold air and definitely more so from how incredibly aroused she is. Uhtred's touch leaves a tingling trail on her skin, and she squirms on Finan's lap when Uhtred leans down and closes the hot wet heat of his mouth over one peak. Hild arches her back as pleasure shoots along her spine at the feel of Uhtred's. He's alternating between her breasts, licking and sucking at her until Hild is writhing against Finan, her breath coming hard and fast. 

"Just breathe, love," Finan says against her ear. His hand on her jaw turns her head to capture her mouth in a sultry kiss. He lets his fingers drag down over her throat, between her breasts, and over her belly. He stops to rest his hand between her legs, his palm cupping her pussy. Hild wonders if he can feel her throbbing beneath his touch because she's absolutely aching with need now. She tilts her hips up to rub herself against his hand, but Finan doesn't move or help her out. He holds her steady, ignoring her wordless plea.

"Are you going to be a good girl?" Finan murmurs in her ear when she tries to push against him again. "Can you be patient?" Hild nods as Uhtred slowly and reluctantly finds his way back out her tits, and he straightens up to kiss her and then Finan. 

"Let's get those bottoms off of her," Finan tells Uhtred. "Hild's getting desperate, aren't you?" Hild sticks her tongue out at him, and Uhtred's quick to comply with Finan's request, pulling the bikini bottoms down Hild's legs and off. 

"Once again, you are both so far behind me," Hild says, reaching to tug at the side of Finan's shorts under the water. "Take these off." Then she turns to Uhtred, saying, "You too." Uhtred is naked before Hild can finish her sentence.

Though she can't see him, she feels Finan reach behind her to push his shorts down enough that she can feel him, his bare cock pressing against her lower back. "Is that better?" he asks, his voice a low rumble in her ear. "Can you feel what you're doing to me?" 

"Yes…" Hild begins, pleased, but the words fail when she feels both of their hands moving over her. Uhtred's trail along her inner thigh, and Finan's slip over her belly until they're both touching her, and she's not sure whose fingers are where for a full minute. Slowly her focus sharpens, and she's pointedly aware of Finan's fingers teasingly playing with her clit while Uhtred's press up inside of her. 

Reaching for Uhtred, needing to taste him, Hild snakes an arm around his neck. She buries her nose in his nape, kissing along his jaw and tasting the chlorine on his skin, as Finan's mouth bites at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. "Good?" Uhtred asks though the way she's writhing against his and Finan's hands really should tell him everything he needs to know. 

"Mmhmm, already close." Hild moans, rocking her hips back and forth. Behind her, she can feel Finan's cock sporadically throbbing, and his sighing and groaning into her neck only spurs her on. "Keep going," Hild pleads, and she feels Finan pull her back against him hard, one hand tight on her hip, his other still rubbing and stroking her as Uhtred quickens his pace, adding a finger. He curls them up, stroking her just deep enough, just where she needs. That, coupled with Finan's touch, pushes her hard over the edge.

She drops her head back against Finan's shoulder when she comes, her orgasm hitting her fast. She turns to press her face against Finan's neck to muffle the cries she can't contain, bucking wildly against their grip. 

"Fuck, I'm already so close," Finan groans. Uhtred rests a hand on the edge of the hot tub over their shoulders, his other hand reaching for Finan behind Hild. She feels him take Finan in his fist, stroking him quickly while she reaches for Uhtred's dick, her fingers wrapping around the hardness of Uhtred. It takes no time before Finan tips over. He thrusts up one last time against her and Uhtred's hand, a deep groan filling her ear as he presses his face against the back of her neck. Hild focuses her attention on Uhtred, standing in front of her, a pleased grin on his face as he watches her stroke his cock. Finan's hand wraps over Hild's hand, and they stroke him together, hands sliding along his length until Uhtred comes, moments later, over their joined hands. 

"Well…" Uhtred says with a soft laugh. "That happened..." He looks a bit dazed and glassy-eyed but smiling. Hild pats his thigh underwater and then Finan's.

"We've all been single for too long, considering I convinced you in about two sentences. I think it's safe to say we were all really horny."

Finan groans, but it ends in a laugh, and he says, "I can't believe we waited so long to do that. It was fucking great." Uhtred nods while pulling his shorts back up. 

"As long as this is a one-time thing and we stay friends after," Hild says. She squints her eyes at Uhtred. This is not the first time they have had this chat, but hopefully, almost fifteen years has made him smarter about Hild and her expectations or lack thereof. "We can't make this weird!"

Uhtred and Finan exchange a look, and Hild can't quite read what goes between them, but in the end, Uhtred nods and says, "Deal." Finan fishes her tops from the floor of the hot tub and leans in to kiss her, tongue and all, "I couldn't pass up one last chance," he says with a cheeky grin. 

_ " _ Well," Hild says, wrapping herself in a towel. "That was  **deeply** satisfying. Unexpected, but fucking amazing."  _ Don't make this weird.  _ Hild thinks, giving her two best friends a big smile.  _ Everything is totally normal.  _


	2. Chapter 2

Hild wakes up, and it's weird. They'd climbed back upstairs late last night, and each step they were climbing had made her head clearer and more transparent. They had sex. She had a threesome with her two best friends. And she's the one who suggested it. 

_What the fuck, Hild?_

In the morning, she lies in her bed, alone, and she can't shake off the feeling that maybe last night was a fiasco in the making and also the best idea she ever had. It's making her dizzy, so she puts it out of her mind, grabbing her phone off the nightside table. Opening her email to review the draft she received from one of her students yesterday, she hadn't yet responded to him. The outline of his thesis on the history of knighthood in Britain can definitely help distract her. She’d been hoping to hear about a job posting she’d applied for ages ago, she’d done three interviews and all her references had been contacted, but still she hadn’t heard a thing - positive or negative. The job was a big step up for her, as head of the department for British medieval history. Hild had almost felt silly applying, even though she knew she was qualified for it, but she’d spent the better part of her career being one of few women in the room amongst a sea of old white men. It was hard to rise above that, but she’d bit the bullet and applied several months ago. After not even a page where she's read the same paragraph four times, unable to concentrate, she gives up and decides to go for a run instead. She's not usually all that athletic, but she needs to outrun this nagging feeling in the back of her head. 

She only comes back inside when her back is drenched with sweat, and her calf muscles burn and tingle from the effort. No matter how fast and how far she ran, she couldn't erase the memory of Uhtred's eyes as he came last night, clenched tight and cheeks flushed. She could hear and feel the groan Finan pushed into the skin of her neck when he tipped over. She remembered curling her toes so hard they cramped up when she relaxed her feet after the wave of orgasm that swooped over her. In her sixteen years of being sexually active, she has never come so hard. 

_Think of something else!_ She chastises herself. _We said it was a one-time thing, there was a reason for that._ Hild can't afford to lose her two best friends, and she can't dedicate herself to make it more serious either. Work is her main focus, she's always swamped, and it wouldn't be fair on them to give only ten percent of her time. They deserve someone more available.

She hears laughing and talking from the kitchen when she comes inside but opts to slip upstairs quickly for a shower before coming back down to the delicious smell of pancakes. When she walks into the kitchen, everyone is huddled around the island, watching Uhtred flipping pancakes in three different pans. It's probably the only recipe he makes well; thank goodness for all of them he's not trying to do anything else. 

"Hild! I don't think I ever saw you sleep in past 7am." Ellie says, as soon as she catches a glimpse of Hild coming into the room. Hild looks at the clock on the wall; it's 10am, which is indeed entirely out of character for her to go downstairs so late. 

"I decided to try running this morning. It's horrible, I don't know how you do it." She says to Uhtred and Ragnar, who are two avid runners. _That was a very natural comment._ She congratulates herself, _I am so smoooooth._ _I can do this._

Ragnar just shrugs into his coffee cup, barely awake, and Uhtred flips a pancake so clumsily it lands on the floor. It doesn't help that Finan half yells, "On a run? Do you even own sneakers?" making Ellie snort.

_I own sneakers! But nobody needs to know they are barely broken in._ She harrumphs and ignores him. Instead, she walks behind the counter, past Uhtred kneeling on the floor, wiping away at his ruined pancake, and busies herself on getting coffee. 

Eadith, changing the conversation over to something much safer, says, "We found a closet full of board games in the living room last night, anyone up for a game of something?" 

"Oh! I love a good board game. Did they have anything interesting?" Sihtric looks almost gleeful, but before Eadith can answer, he slips out in the direction of the living room to investigate himself. Ellie and Eadith follow him, and she can hear them talk animatedly in the distance. 

Hild pours herself a coffee, pulling out a second mug. "Do you want one?" she asks Uhtred. 

"Sure, thanks," he replies, distracted and swearing under his breath when he realizes he just burned a batch of pancakes. As he throws them out and starts over, Brida asks him why he's so jumpy and what is wrong with him. 

"Get off my case, woman!" He snaps and looks at him with that stare, the _Brida_ stare. She knows he's hiding something. Hild pours a coffee for him, almost spilling it because she's not really paying attention. She can't help but notice these things about Finan and Uhtred that she hasn't seen before. It's very irritating because she keeps reminding herself, _NOTHING HAS CHANGED._

Ellie, Eadith, and Sihtric come back with a few games in tow and start arguing about the choices available to them.

"Clue is the best. It's strategic!"

"Clue is boring and way too easy. Risk is way more challenging."

"Risk will take us four hours to finish a single game, that's ridiculous." 

"Oh, because you have a better place to be right now?"

"Depends what's on the table, maybe?"

"What?"

"Forget it. Let's play Carcassonne. It's easy for new players."

Hild is only half-listening to the chaotic game board chat as she finishes the coffees, and she hands Uhtred his cup. He takes a sip, surprising Hild when he starts coughing and kind of gags. All eyes turn to where the two of them are standing. 

"Are you okay?" Hild asks, worriedly.

"I'm fine, sorry. Blech, you put almond milk in my coffee." 

Hild looks at him with a confused expression on her face. "What? No, I didn't."

"Yeah, you did." He shows her the very milky coffee. 

From across the room, Finan yells, "Ohhh, it's Hild, in the kitchen, with the nuts!" referencing the Clue argument from earlier.

She scowls at Finan and takes Uhtred's cup from him and dumps it. "I guess I'm tired from my run. Maybe I'm dehydrated." That was clearly the wrong thing to say because Osferth being Osferth, starts telling her to sit down, they'll get her some water. "Do you feel light-headed? Finan, give Hild your pancake, she needs sugar! Eadith, do you know some good energy bite recipes? Maybe we need to get some fat to her brain." 

Hild is slowly dying inside because she is none of these things. She is distracted because she basically had a one-night stand with both of her best friends. They agreed everything was going to be okay and normal. It was just a drunken night of fun. The problem is it's getting harder to deny that she'd do it again in a heartbeat if either of them even hinted at it. 

Finan puts his hand on the back of her neck, "Are you okay?" he asks, his voice full of concern. 

"Everything is fine! I'm fine!" Hild snaps, a little too loudly. Mostly it's due to the feeling of Finan's hand on her skin. It's almost too much for her to take, and if he doesn't stop, she might _actually_ start hyperventilating. She rubs her hands over her face. "Everything. Is. Fine." 

Except it wasn't, because it didn't mean anything to have Finan touch her before today. Now she can't stop thinking about how his hands felt on her body and how Uhtred felt _inside_ her. The feeling of them both against her body, in her hands. Yesterday it didn't mean anything, but now maybe it does, even though, for the record, they all agreed that it definitely wouldn't mean anything. And it really _doesn't_ , she's just...very sexually deprived. Or at least that's what she's going to tell herself to get through this day. Possibly forever.

*** * ***

Finan walks out of the house past Ellie, Sihtric, and Osferth, taking the steps from the terrace down two at a time. They seem to be playing some sort of overly active board game in a shaded part of the patio as he steps out into the yard. After breakfast, everyone else agreed to play a volleyball game in the pool, seeing how hot the weather was. Finan was the first to change, and while waiting for the rest of the crew, he decides to set up the net. Lost in the motion of tightening the rope, his mind wanders back to this morning and how it was an absolute fiasco. A shit show even. Uhtred managed to ruin so many pancakes between dropping and burning them, he had to mix more batter at one point. And Hild not only went on a run, and she was so distracted she forgot how Uhtred takes his coffee. As for him, no matter what he did, he couldn't slip back into the easy-going camaraderie they usually share. 

He sighs when Uhtred walks up to him, the volleyball under his arm. Maybe playing in the pool wasn't the best idea. Watching Uhtred's bare chest, with his lean muscles and sun-kissed skin, was perhaps too great a challenge. He needed more time before he could face it level headed. He tightens the last of the net and straightens up, shaking his head to clear his mind. "Pancakes were delicious, Uhtred."

Uhtred smiles back but doesn't answer. Finan watches him throw the ball in the water and pull out towels to put on the lawn chairs dispersed around the pool, avoiding looking in his direction. 

"You look a bit...on edge?" Finan says, trying to get Uhtred to open up, hoping they can salvage their friendship. 

Uhtred still avoids looking at him and straightens a towel he just laid on a chair. "I was just worrying about the kids...and I didn't sleep well, my mattress isn't very comfortable. Kind of hard." 

"Mmhmm." Finan isn't buying it for even a second. Uhtred talked with Gisela and his kids last night, and they were having a perfect time. And not sleeping well? That's not the mattress because they are ridiculously comfortable, and Finan slept like a baby, better than he had in a long time. The second he opened his eyes; however, the image of the previous night came back with a vengeance as if it was burned behind his eyelid. Uhtred probably turned all night, replaying the end of their evening like Finan did all morning.

He never thought he would actually get to do what they did last night. He had sex with Hild years ago, back in uni, and he could never entirely forget about her. How she felt under his hands and how sweet she smelled. Or the noises he was able to extract out of her when she came undone under him. As for Uhtred, he is something else, like a forbidden fruit. Uhtred has always been an unattainable dream. Finan has always admired Uhtred, and their friendship is precious to him, yet he couldn't help but be attracted to him. With over a decade of experience living with the constant low-level want Finan has every time he watches Uhtred and Hild, he got used to ignoring it. He's basically a perpetually repressed horny teenager around his two best friends. But last night, it's like the barrier fell. 

From the bay window, he can see Hild still inside chatting with Brida and Ragnar. She looks beautiful and soft, wearing a less revealing bathing suit than last night, yet it does nothing to calm the bite of craving Finan gets in his belly when he sees her.

He turns back to Uhtred, and their eyes meet, looking away from Hild, walking out into the backyard to join them. She stops beside Ellie and observes her playing with Sihtric and Osferth, her laughs floating back to Finan. "Do you think Hild is okay? She seems off this morning?"

"I know what was with that? Good thing I'm not allergic to almonds!" Uhtred shakes his head and chuckles. 

It feels almost normal again to banter together. Almost, but not entirely. "If I'm honest, you both feel a bit off? Are we good?" Finan is hesitant to bring this up, but it will eat at him if he doesn't say anything. 

Uhtred coughs and doesn't say anything for a few heartbeats. Finan's insides are twisting themself in knots, waiting for Uhtred to say something. "We're… yes. We're good." He laughs and sighs, finally looking at Finan head-on.

Finan touches Uhtred's arm, needing to anchor himself before probing more. Still, as he opens his mouth to speak, Ragnar and Brida join them by the side of the pool. Ragnar makes the biggest cannonball this side of Europe has ever seen. Brida laughs before she follows her husband with a much more graceful headfirst dive. Uhtred and Finan put aside what Finan thinks might be their impending friendship crisis to join them. Finan really wants to lay it out in the open, clear the air with Hild and Uhtred, and get back to where they were not even twenty-four hours ago, but perhaps it's not the best timing. 

Eadith comes out of the house, a speaker playing music loudly in her hands. She stops by the board game table, beside Hild, and Finan sees them joke around just out of earshot. 

"Please, for the love of God, let the man get some sun, so we're not blinded and come play!" Finan shouts jokingly when Eadith starts rubbing sunscreen on Osferth glow-in-the-dark-white back and shoulders. 

"Finan! Skin cancer is no joke!" replies Osferth, pulling him back from where his gaze keeps wandering, over to Hild, who has finally walked toward the pool and is dropping her phone on a lawn chair. Her hair is loose in the wind, and her green swimsuit suit is a stark contrast against her own creamy pale skin. All of it makes it harder for Finan to ignore the elephant in the room or at least ignore it enough to function and rise above. All he can remember is how her skin tastes and feels. He looks back at the spa quickly, the image of last night flashing before his eyes.

He shakes his head and very decisively pulls himself out of the pool. If he can't make things magically better, he can shove it down like he's done for years and pretend until it is. Finan runs to Hild, grabbing her around the middle, cackling when she screams, "Finan!" in his ear, and he jumps in the pool with her like he would have before. When they float back up, gasping for air, she's laughing with him, playfully splashing at him. Finan looks back at Uhtred, who has his head thrown back, and his shoulders are shaking from his amusement instead of being tense like they had been all morning. It feels almost normal again. 

The rest of the day passes in a blur. After volleyball, they go on a small hike in the mountain nearby and gorge on deliciousness concocted by Eadith for dinner. By the time dinner is over and the dishes are cleaned, it's already late into the night. Osferth convinced half of the house to do a Lord of The Ring marathon when he found the old DVD cases in a living room drawer. 

"How about The Office? I brought a whole season," proposes Finan when he sees the wince Hild doesn't conceal very well at the suggestion of LOTR. She's never been a fan, and for once, Finan is grateful. He's itching to spend some time away from everyone else, just the three of them. 

Uhtred rubs his belly, still full from dinner, "That sounds great, I can't commit to a whole movie tonight." he says around a yawn. 

"Oh, yes! That's perfect! That's normal." Hild says quickly. Finan shares a skeptical look with Uhtred at Hild's comment. She still hasn't come around, clearly. Finan shrugs; he'll have all night to hopefully fix whatever that meant.

"I'll grab our snacks and meet you guys upstairs. Don't start without me!" 

"I require chocolate!" calls Uhtred to Hild's retreating shape before following Finan upstairs. 

They decide to set the tv in Uhtred's room, Finan getting everything ready. At the same time, Uhtred excuses himself to go shower before changing into loungewear. The normality of setting up a show while Hild makes them snacks and Uhtred gets ready for bed soothes Finan's nerves. It's like he finally found his footing back under him, and perhaps, they can move on from the weird headspace they've been stuck in all day. 

Finan pops in his own room for a minute and changes into his softest pair of sweatpants. Finan stops to wonder if he should be wearing a t-shirt or not, and the fact that he asks himself if he should make him throw the shirt back in his suitcase like it burned his fingers. He never wears a shirt to bed or when he hangs out around the house. And if tonight is a typical night, wearing a shirt would draw more attention then having his tits out. 

He gets back in Uhtred's bedroom and settles on the bed just as Uhtred turns off the water from his shower. He hears Hild climbing the stairs and puttering around in her own bedroom, probably changing into comfy clothes.

"The bed is really comfortable, Uhtred." Finan teases the other man when he walks back in the room, remembering how earlier Uhtred said he slept poorly because the mattress was hard. 

"I know, I slept like a baby." 

"Mmhmm," Finan doesn't point out how Uhtred is mixed up in his lies, but he feels very smug about it nonetheless. Finan reclines back against the headboard and watches Uhtred walk around the room, looking for his own sweats. With the towel riding low on Uhtred's hips, it sends a rush of desire down Finan's spine. _Fuck_. 

Finan queues up two episodes and pulls his phone out to scroll on Reddit while he waits. It's been hardly a second, but when he looks up, Hild is back, steaming hot chocolate in her hands and sugary snacks spilling out of her pockets. She's changed into her usual sleepwear, a loose-fitting tank top, and sleep shorts. It's not meant to be sexy, there's a stain of coffee on the collar of her camisole and a hole in the elastic waistband of her shorts, but it's _so much skin_ , Finan wants to die a little bit. The need to extend his hand and touch her is hard on his self-control, and he slips his hands under his leg. 

Even if they don't quite meet each other's gaze, Finan can feel her watching him, and Finan doesn't know if that's a good or a bad thing. He feels self-conscious in front of her like he never has before. Finan is halfway to getting up and getting a shirt when Uhtred comes back into the room wearing a threadbare t-shirt and joggers. He turns off the ceiling light, leaving only the side table lamps on and the TV's blue light illuminating the room. 

"Let's do this!" Uhtred jumps on the bed beside Finan, back reclined on the headboard, his legs crossed at the ankle, mirroring Finan's position. Hild hand them each a cup and dumps her candy on Uhtred's lap, "Sweet! You got Snickers!" Hild smiles at him and crawls on the bed between them. Her feet rest on the pillow, leaning her head on her arms at the foot of the bed.

Finan press play, and despite the comedic tone of the show, the air is thick with uneasiness. Finan is oblivious to the tv. All he can focus on is the two people on this bed with him. Finan can hear Hild blow on her drink before taking a tentative sip; Uhtred opening mini chocolate bars and balling the wrappers and dropping on the nightstands. Something that would usually irritate Finan, but tonight he finds it endearing. It also doesn't help that Hild keeps fidgeting, finally putting her cup on the floor. She flexes her toes against the headboard, stretching her legs - not helpful when Finan already has a hard time trying not to run his hand up the back of her calf and slip his hand into her shorts to squeeze her arse. He's distracted momentarily by Uhtred pulling his hair tie out of his hair, giving his shoulder-length waves a tussle before pulling them back up into a bun. Hild moving up to place her chin on hands, then back on the mattress on her crossed arms, back up again, as if she can't find a comfortable position. Uhtred crosses and uncrosses his legs every two minutes, like clockwork. It's like they are all laying on a bed of ants, and it's making Finan feel crazed. 

Finan doesn't know what to do with himself either if he's honest. What does he do with his hands usually? Pulling them from under his legs, Finan puts them on his thighs, spreading his fingers wide to stretch each digit. He closes his eyes and focuses his attention on the hundreds if not thousands of memories of this same evening he has spent with Uhtred and Hild. Usually, it was stealing candy from Uhtred, attempting to convince either of them that potato chips were a much better snack option. And complaining until someone brought him a bag. He'd massage Hild's feet and ask in exchange for her to play with his hair while he half falls asleep under her touch. _Be normal,_ Finan thinks to himself.

Finan let himself be convinced, maybe too quickly, that touching Hild was normal, so he places his hand on Hild's exposed calf. Her skin is soft and faintly smelling of coconut from the aftersun lotion she always uses. Hild jumps slightly under his touch, but when she doesn't pull back or say anything, he squeezes the muscle between his fingers and works on the knots he finds there from her morning run. She sighs, almost too soft for him to hear it, but he does. In fact, he wants to listen to her do it again. He presses harder, moving up and rubbing slow circles deep in the muscles, unrelenting and chasing another sigh. And then she moans, freezing under him.

Time stops when Finan hears her. He's pulled right back to last night, so much so that he can almost hear the loud sounds of the jets instead of the show in the background. She sounds so close to when she came undone sitting above him last night, his dick jumps in his sweatpants at the memory. Uhtred turns sharply toward him and stares at his hand and Hild legs, glassy-eyed. Finan isn't the only one thinking of the hot tub, and it's like something snaps in his mind. _Fuck it_. 

He hooks her ankles and pushes at her hips until Hild is on her back, facing them. Her eyes are wide, and she's rosy-cheeked. Finan wants her more than ever, and he's ready to be bold enough to admit it aloud. He wants to do this again. 

"I can't take it anymore. I really enjoyed myself last night, and I don't want to fuck this up, but you guys are acting weird as fuck. But at the same time, I really want to do it again, so either be normal or let's have sex. Ideally, both."

The silence is deafening. Hild looks like a deer caught in headlights, and Uhtred is still staring at Hild's leg instead of facing him. 

When nobody pipes up, Finan deflates, "So we're done?" 

"No!... I mean, maybe it can be a one-time thing for the whole vacation instead of...just last night?" She sounds tentative. She's mostly looking at Uhtred, who finally looks up when she starts talking and is slowly nodding at her words. "We're clearly all a little sexually frustrated," She looks back at Finan and rubs her foot along his thigh. "Once we're back home again, we'll be fine because we'll be back in our routines, and we've all done this before. Going back to being just friends, I mean. We're just releasing some tension. Agreed?" Hild suddenly sounds so sure of herself, her confidence seducing Finan into jumping in, not that he had anything against the idea in the first place. 

Finan and Uhtred look at each other, and Uhtred raises an eyebrow in his direction, silently asking if he's in. Finan has never been so much in favor of something in his life. He nods, and before anyone else can move, he grabs Uhtred by the collar and pulls him in, Finan brushing his lips against Uhtred's. Their kiss lacks any heat, just a delicate brush of lips testing each other, sweet and comforting.

Hild hums appreciatively at the foot of the bed, where she still lays on her back with her eyes fixed on them, pulling their attention to her. Covering her mouth, like the noise that just came out is beyond her control, Hild scrambles to her knees as they look at her. 

"Come here," Uhtred says, and takes her hand to pull her down on his lap. With one hand, he caresses her cheek and pulls her closer with the other. 

Finan watches them for a beat, catching hints of tongues during their kiss, and it makes him crave them and their touch even more. Finan scoots closer and wraps himself over Hild's back, kneeling behind her and trapping Uhtred's hand between his groin and Hild's back. With a smirk, Uhtred catches his eyes and pushes his hand against Finan's already hard dick. Finan leans over and captures Uhtred's mouth in a sensual kiss, wet lips gliding effortlessly against each other. Having Hild moving under him, his own hand guiding her hips to rub harder against Uhtred. Finan feels like everything is right again as Uhtred looks up at him. 

Finan drops his lips to Hild's skin, inhaling the scent of her hair and kissing the nape of her neck. He bites playfully at her shoulder and moving up to her ear. "Do you know how good you look?" Finan whispers to her. Hild turns her head to him, chasing his lips, which he grants her readily, his hand coming up to hold her head and pull her closer. 

Hild is so soft under him, it's driving Finan mad, itching to feel her everywhere. He slides his hands under her top, petting her stomach above her waistband until she sighs against his mouth. She pulls away and removes her tank top, discarding it off the side of the bed. 

"You better not leave marks everywhere like when you were twenty, Uhtred!" Hild teases, and Finan hears Uhtred snicker on the other side of Hild's neck. Finan watches Uhtred lavishing Hild's throat. He loves seeing how she reacts to Uhtred's touch. Taking a breath, Finan slides his hand up Hild's body to cup her breasts. He tugs softly at her nipples until Uhtred's deft fingers join him under the swell of her breast, flicking at him when Finan doesn't give him access to the pebbled tips. Finan laughs and kisses Uhtred as a silent apology, giving him room to touch Hild.

Uhtred stirs, his hands caressing Hild's breasts irreverently as he keeps kissing Finan. As they part, Finan sits back on his heels, watching Uhtred lift Hild off of his lap and onto Finan's. Quickly she turns around to straddle him, their mouths finding one another as his hands roam on her arse. On his back, her nails scratch deliciously along his skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

The bed shifts as Uhtred slips out, flicking off one of the bedside table lamps, leaving the other lamp turned on, casting the room in a softer, more sensuous light. From the corner of his eye, Finan sees him remove his t-shirt, dropping it beside Hild's as he turns off the tv. He disappears from Finan's view, but he hears Uhtred opening and closing his suitcase, reappearing to drop a handful of condoms on the bedside table. 

Hild pulls away from Finan, turning her head and eyes the pile of condoms beside Uhtred. "Very optimistic," she teases him. 

"Who says they're all for you?" asks Uhtred, and he bends down to drop his sweatpants. He's standing gloriously naked before them, and for the first time, Finan and Hild can drink him in.

"Touché," Hild murmurs against Finan's lips, going back down to kiss him more urgently than before. She rubs herself on his dick, the only thing separating him from her pussy are those thin shorts, and he can feel the absolute heat of her. His cock strains against his sweatpants, making him grunt with need. 

Uhtred joins them back on the bed and tugs at Hild's shorts. "Come here, I want to taste you." Finan feels Hild shiver at Uhtred's profession, and he kicks off his pants, arranging themselves back on the bed with Hild reclining on Finan's chest. Uhtred peppers kisses on Hild from her throat, down over the soft swell of her belly to her pussy. He pulls her shorts down her legs until finally, he falls between her open legs. Finan has never been so hard in life. Watching Uhtred tease Hild open, blowing softly against her throbbing wet flesh, is perhaps the second hottest thing Finan's ever seen. The first is when Uhtred finally licks the flat of his tongue over Hild's pussy, and she arcs off the bed in pleasure. 

Finan can't help but whisper in Hild's ear every filthy thought that crossed his mind all day. "Do you know how turned I've been since I woke up?" Finan asks her, his mouth brushing against the shell of her ear. "Do you know how much I've wanted this to happen for the past decade?" Uhtred hums in agreement at this, his mouth still working over Hild's pussy as he presses a finger inside her.

"Yes..." Hild whimpers and Uhtred looks up, insanely pleased with himself. 

"Is Uhtred making you feel good? Do you know how much we both want to feel you come undone for us?" 

Hild swears, moving her legs up higher on Uhtred's shoulders, chasing her release. Finan rewards every one of her gasps by pinching her nipples, rolling it tightly between his thumb and finger. Her hips buck under Uhtred, and Finan sees the knuckles on Uhtred's hand white with the effort of keeping Hild pinned in place. Watching Hild reach her orgasm and shaking under Uhtred's continuous attention is one of the most erotic moments of his life. Fina craves the taste of her, the feeling of her throbbing against his own tongue, but he'll gladly settle for the taste of her on Uhtred's lips. 

Uhtred finally lets her be, placing the last kiss on her hip bone, and he helps Finan lay a thoroughly satisfied and out of breath Hild on the bed. Finan shifts to his knees and moves toward Uhtred, who's already kneeling, and they meet in a heated kiss. Finan can't help but groan, finally tasting Hild, sweet like honey on Uhtred's lips. He pulls Uhtred closer, bringing their chests together. A groan bursting from both of them when their dicks rub against each other, bumping on their bellies. 

"Fuck, I can't believe this is finally happening," Uhtred says as he looks down at their cocks in awe. He irreverently traces along the underside of Finan's cock, smirking when it bobs up and down in response.

Seeing Uhtred react to him reminds Finan how Uhtred has basically no experience whatsoever with a dick other than his own. A few fumbles in the dark when he was barely an adult hardly counts. Finan forces himself to slow down. He wants this to be good for Uhtred. 

"What do you want?" Finan asks, wanting to confirm just how far Uhtred intends to take things tonight. 

"I have to choose?!" Uhtred whines, almost plaintively in Finan's ear, making him chuckle.

"How about we start light and just say if you want to stop."

He helps Uhtred lay down on the bed next to Hild, whose leaning on one elbow, watching with glee as this unfolds in front of her. Finan takes his time kissing all the way from Uhtred's lips to his dick. Finan slowly takes Uhtred's cock in his mouth, relishing how heavy it feels on his tongue and soft on his lips. Having recovered from her orgasm, Hild moves closer and runs her hands on Uhtred's stomach. She dips her hand lower to tease along Uhtred's shaft, where Finan's mouth is wrapped tight around him. 

"You look debauched." She tells them both, licking her lips and bending down to swallow Uhtred's cry in a kiss as Finan finally takes him all the way into his mouth.

Finan caresses Uhtred's thigh and slips his hand behind him, to squeeze one of his asscheeks, his thumb rubbing between them, not quite touching his entrance. "I really want to touch you here," says Finan, as he pulls his mouth off of Uhtred. 

Finan looks up and stares into Uhtred's bright eyes, his pupils blown wide with desire. His cheeks are flushed, and his lips red and swollen.

"Yes! Fuck, yes, _please_." But it's more than a plea, and it shoots up straight along Finan's spine, his own cock incredibly hard and weeping.

"I got you," Finan tells him. "There's a lot I want to do but let's save some things for tomorrow too," he jokes. Uhtred whines when Finan taps his finger against his entrance, tentatively grazing the sensitive skin to feel Uhtred's reaction. 

Using the lube that Hild hands him from the bedside table, Finan takes his time, slowly working one finger into Uhtred. Uhtred's whimpers and moans are delicious, and he adds a second finger once Uhtred begins to squirm, rocking against Finan's hand. His dick is wet at the tip and Finan laps at it, lost in the noises and movement he can pull from this gorgeous man beneath him. Not to be left out, Hild joins Finan, licking at Uhtred's dick beside his tongue. He loves watching the way her small hands tug gently at Uhtred's balls, her hand jerking him off in rhythm with Finan's fingers inside him. Uhtred comes with a strangled sob, spilling hot and sticky over Hild's fingers and his own stomach, back arching off the bed with their names on his lips. 

Finan is painfully hard, and he squeezes his own dick at the base. However, he's uncertain if he's staving off his own release or if he's bringing himself closer to the finish line. Hild puts her hands on his face and turns his head toward her. She kisses him softly, reaching over to run her hand on top of the hand he has still wrapped around his cock. 

"Can I help you with that?" she says mischievously, making him laugh at the ridiculousness of the question, but also, fuck does he want her to. 

Hild hands him a condom and helps him roll it down his cock. Moving up the bed, she lies beside Uhtred, catching his breath, her entire side touching his. Finan climbs over her, fitting himself between her thighs. He bends down and closes his mouth on one of her nipples as he brings his fingers to her pussy. Gently Finan runs them along her slit; he'll never tire of feeling how incredibly wet she is for them. At her urging, he guides his dick to her entrance, pushing in slowly. It feels almost too hot, too tight, too good. 

"Fuck. This might not last very long," he warns under his breath, thrusting tentatively, and his balls already tight. 

Uhtred turns to them and brings his fingers to Hild's clit, lightly circling with the pad of his finger while Finan fucks into her. Being inside her again, for the first time in over ten years, feels better than Finan can remember. He wants to stay like this for hours, take his time with her, but he's so turned on, so close to his own release that he knows delaying his orgasm is impossible. 

Hild's hand tightens in his hair, and he looks into her eyes, a moment so intimate it shakes him, the way she's looking at him. His rhythm is quick and jerky, and he can't stop it. He comes buried deep inside her, Uhtred helping him bring Hild over the edge with his fingers. 

After a few moments, his mouth finding Hild's, and then Uhtred's, he pulls out of her. His heart still beats wildly in his chest, so hard he feels like it's trying to jump right out. But he forces himself to get up and clean up quickly, tying the condom and throws it in the bin before coming back to bed, stopping just long enough to turn off the light on his way. Uhtred and Hild are already snuggled up together, Uhtred being the big spoon to Hild's small spoon. Finan slips under the covers and nestles behind Uhtred, throwing his arm over them both. He closes his eyes and finally feels settled for the first time today.

*** * ***

The next morning when Uhtred wakes up, Finan is asleep on one side of him, and Hild is curled up on the other. Uhtred feels _content_ in a way he hasn't for a long time. He can't help but run his fingers along Hild's skin, drawing circles on her back while she's sleeping, tracing patterns between the freckles on her skin. 

Finan shifts next to him as he wakes, and he gives a sleepy groan when Uhtred turns to look at him. Uhtred is relieved to find he doesn't feel awkward with Finan in the light of day. Their eyes locks together for a long moment, and they smile at each other shyly, a quiet nervous laugh shared between them. 

"Morning," Finan whispers. 

"Hi," Uhtred replies, quietly so as not to wake Hild. Finan leans in and presses a kiss to the point of Uhtred's shoulder. Uhtred can't believe something so chaste and so quick can have so much meaning and affect him profoundly, but it does. Clearing his throat quietly, Uhred asks, "Why did it take us fifteen years to do that?" 

From where she's sleeping with her back to them, Hild says, "You're both blind, I've watched you eye each other up for ages." 

"Oh, you didn't have a look at us yourself?" Uhtred asks, his fingers tickling along her side. 

Hild turns over and looks at Uhtred and Finan with a smile. "Well, maybe that's true…" 

"So...last night was really...pretty good." 

Finan raises his eyebrows, and Hild looks amused at Uhtred. "It was pretty good?" 

"Great? It was great!" Uhtred replies, feeling nervous about coming on too strong, but it had been better than great. It had been fucking mind-blowing. 

"Better." Finan laughs and presses another kiss to Uhtred's shoulder, a little bit higher this time. 

"Well, I enjoyed myself," Hild says, her head resting on her propped elbow, the sheet dangerously low. Uhtred's trying not to completely leer at her, but her tits really are perfect, and he wouldn't mind burying his face in them again. 

Finan scoffs, "You came THREE times! I would say that is pretty great." 

"I came twice," Hild replies, trying to keep her face sober and failing. "Don't get too full of yourself." 

"That is fifty percent more than each of us." 

"I didn't see Uhtred complaining about his one measly orgasm when he came in your mouth or when you…" 

"Alright!" Uhtred interrupts, covering both of their mouths with his palms. "It was great for everyone!" 

Finan tries to pull Uhtred's hand off his mouth, "Shh, I'm trying to up the male orgasm count here." 

But then Hild sits up, the sheet bunching around her waist, her chest bare, and neither of the guys cares about whatever they were just playfully arguing about. "From my point of view, it's two female orgasms to two male orgasms, sounds pretty fair." Uhtred and Finan are silent, nodding but looking at her chest. "Yeah, hello, these are my breasts, you met them last night. I'm up here." And she snaps her fingers with her perfected teacher's glare. It's a look Uhtred didn't know he'd be into, but he _most definitely_ is. 

Uhtred reluctantly looks away from her breast and between the two of them and smiles a bit hesitantly. "So just to go back to what we said last night... we're going to do this again, right? Because I don't think it's quite out of my system." Not to mention that his dick is quite interested in the free show Hild is putting on. He really just wants to reach over and touch her, but he restrains himself. For the record, it's not easy.

Hild smiles, her hand reaching over to touch Uhtred's chest. "I'm definitely in, but…but just so we are on the same page, we're just scratching an itch, right? You guys are my best friends, and we've been best friend for way too long fuck this up. I want to have sex with you guys for the rest of the week because, _wow_! But then we go back home, we forget about it, and we go back to how we were. You both know how I'm not looking for anything more right? This is just for fun." 

"We're all adults," Finan says. "I think we can separate what's fun from anything serious. We got over it 13 years ago, no reason why it won't be fine the second time around." 

Uhtred nods because he really wants to do this. He wants to explore all these things with the two of them. Except he remembers keenly how heartbreaking it was the first time around when Hild broke up with him, but at least he's going in knowing what to expect, and he can make sure he doesn't let himself have romantic feelings that can't go anywhere. 

Hild asks, "We are all in agreement?" 

"Yes!" Uhtred and Finan say at the same time. 

"At least now we've got a lot more stamina than when we were overly excited 20-year-olds," adds Uhtred, self-deprecatingly. Hild laughs and leans over to kiss him. 

"I didn't mind it then, and I don't mind it now," she says, before deepening their kiss as Finan slides his hand over Uhtred's chest. In the back of Uhtred's mind, he is worried he might get too invested. That he'll catch those feelings that have subsided over the last 15 years, but they've never completely gone away if he's honest with himself. But he pushes it out of his mind as Finan's hand slides into his boxers, and tells himself to concentrate on the moment, and not how he's probably going to fuck this up. 


	3. Chapter 3

Hild finishes spooning quinoa salad in a plastic container but not before sneaking in a mouthful of salad when she's done, because why not? It's just her and Finan in the kitchen, and he won't judge her too harshly if he sees her grab an extra bite not even 20 minutes after complaining she'd have to be rolled away because she was so full. Eadith is just too talented for the health of Hild's stomach and her self control.

Hild licks her lips, chasing the last of the lemony taste, and drops the spoon with a loud clank in the sink. "I never thought quinoa could taste so good." 

"Right? I'll never be able to go back to junk food once we go back to town."

"You know, for a guy so much into staying "fit", you really put any kind of salty crap in your body." She teases with a laugh. She reclines her hips on the counter beside him and trails her eyes down his body. The view of Finan bent over a sink full of dishes, although she saw this exact view countless times before, looks a thousand times more appealing today. She can't help but reach out to touch the small of his back. And maybe lower. 

Finan looks over his shoulder with a glint in his eyes, "Hey! Not fair! I can't even touch you." 

"Maybe that's the appeal." She says with a firmer squeeze and a quick kiss to his shoulder. He really does his squats well. 

Finan flicks water in her face, but besides pushing his ass more firmly against her hand and a smirk that he half hides by looking back at his burned pot, he doesn't add anything on her welcome assault. Instead, he picks back up their conversation "Hild, I saw all the MacDonald breakfast sandwich wrappers in your car, I'm the one who throws them out weekly. You can't give me grief about eating junk food." 

Hild shrugs her shoulders with a snort and refuses to acknowledge this vicious attack. She goes back to her Tupperware full of quinoa salad, armed with a new spoon. Another bite won't hurt.

"Not only that, but you can't start siding on Uhtred about this! If he had it his way, we would only eat  _ plain _ quinoa and steamed broccoli. Nobody can survive on  _ that  _ crap." 

Hild laughs at this because nothing ever said was as accurate as this statement, "I think fifty percent of his muscles are made of quinoa and broccoli."

Finan finally put the uncooperative pot on the drying rack and dries his hand on his jeans. "Come here," he motions her towards him with his finger and grabs the bottom of her tank top. It's just a small tug, but Hild feels like a magnetic force pulls her toward him. 

Hild barely registers her feet are moving until she's standing in front of him, between his legs. Finan tucks her hair behind her ear and kisses her softly on the corner of her mouth, his thumb brushing her cheek. She feels precious under his hands, and for a second, her heart is swooning. It's the realization Hild is swooning, like a Jane Austen character, that snaps her out of her almost day-dream state. She doesn't want romance; that's not part of her plan nor part of the agreement. 

She pushes his shoulder playfully and moves the last millimeters to close the distance between them and kiss him properly. Hild is still amazed and shocked that she gets to do that freely. It's only been a little over a day, and it already feels natural, like they always did it. She's still in disbelief that last night happened. Or the night before. The whole experience was intimate and powerful in a way she never felt before. It doesn't help that she can't get her mind out of the gutter even though it was the best sex she's ever had. 

Finan straightens up, his lips out of reach from her mouth despite her best attempt. His hand goes down her back to her ass, in a very similar way to what she did to him just a few minutes before. "Stop slacking off, Hild, the grilled chicken is waiting for you to put it away." 

She opens her mouth to protest, but he just turns her toward the counter, smacks his ass with a wink, and goes back to his dishes with a laugh. She shakes her head but laughs along with him. She starts rummaging in the cupboard to find something to pack up the last of the leftover. The playfulness of their interaction hasn't changed; she likes that they can joke around just like before. Although the kiss isn't quite just like before. And the groping. Maybe it's not  _ quite  _ like before.

They work in silence, and when she's done, she walks back to him with the last of the dishes and rinses her hands under the tap. Finan drops a kiss on her head. "Thanks for staying back and helping me with this." 

Hild leans against the counter and grabs a drying towel to help him out. "It was that or watching Osferth making puppy eyes at Eadith." 

"Or Ellie and Sihtric making puppy eyes at each other." 

Hild pretends to gasp at his insinuation, "This is not a subject you are allowed to bring up." 

"Please, don't tell me you don't see it." Finan gives her a pointed look with a raised eyebrow. Of course, Hild has seen the interested looks Ellie and Sihtric give each other, but she very much prefers pretending Ellie will not end up involved with someone in her circle. 

She hums noncommittally and pulls on his jeans pocket. "Do you really want to talk about Ellie?" 

Finan grins down at her. "Nope," popping the P with glee, "Anything else you would like to discuss?" 

Hild shakes her head no. This stupid Irish man is making her work for it. She bites her lips and gives him a false pout. It's like she has to spell it out for him, "You're such a tease." 

Finan grabs her hips with two firm (and damp) hands, his thumbs rubbing maddening circles on her hip bones. He bends to kiss her, catching her bottom lips between. "Like that doesn't do it for you," he says with a low rumble.

Hild smiles against him and deepens the kiss. Sliding her tongue along his, she pulls at the short hairs at the nape of his neck. It still feels new and urgent, every touch lighting a fire on her skin. Standing in the kitchen, where everyone can walk in on them, makes everything feel more exciting in broad daylight. Hild can't get enough of him; she wants him all. She pushes up on her tiptoes and wraps her arms around his neck, wanting him closer, feeling him through her clothes. 

Finan crowds her in, and he lifts her up on the counter, stepping in between her knees. He slides his hand on her bare back, under her shirt. His other hand brushes against her thighs, and it takes everything for her not to give up all sense of responsibility and have her way with him on the island counter. Finan is sliding his hand up her thigh, leaning back to kiss her when she hears someone clear their throat behind her.  _ Shit _ . Her heart stops, and her mind runs through possible explanations as to why she's necking her supposedly platonic best friend in the middle of the kitchen.

"You guys couldn't wait for me for four hours?" It's Uhtred, back from dropping Ragnar and Brida off at the car rental. Hild is so relieved to not have gotten caught, she sighs and laughs into Finan's neck, pulling him in with her feet. She feels his half-hard dick push against her, and she's so grateful she doesn't have to stop just yet. 

"Finan was gagging for it, I couldn't restrain him," she says cheekily, and Finan bites her jaw softly as retribution, his hand moving behind her to grab at her ass, but he doesn't protest much. Perhaps he was. Hild definitely was. 

Uhtred chuckles, eyes dark and heavy following Finan's hand on her thigh, but he remains frozen in the doorway. She wants to convince Uhtred to come meet them, but the weight of his gaze on her sends a wave of want down to her core. She holds Uhtred's eyes, and she feels on display for him. She doesn't mind putting on a show for him, wants to make it so good he can't hold back to his doorway. Finan runs his lips on her throat, groaning against her when she arches her back and drags her nails on his arms. 

Finan takes her chin in his hand and turns her head to him, capturing her mouth and forcing her to lose sight of Uhtred. She closes her eyes, getting lost in the sensation of Finan's lips and the burn of his beard against her skin. She re-opens her eyes when she feels a new hand slide up her other thigh, Finan on her right and Uhtred on her left. Uhtred walked up to them and molded his body to Finan's back, his eyes still boring into her. She pushes up to kiss Finan's neck, and Hild meets Uhtred at the junction of Finan's jaw. 

She brushes her lips against Uhtred's, feeling almost relief to finally be able to touch him. She barely skimmed her lips on Uhtred's that the back door slams in the room over. 

"Fuck!" Finan jumps so high his shoulder hits her chin, and she sees stars for a hot second. She tentatively touches her chin and lips, making sure she's blood-free, and when she looks up, Finan is about to start drying dishes, and Uhtred is looking inside the fridge for leftovers. So much for her hot afternoon of debauchery. 

"Guys, is it too early for cocktail hour?" Sihtric comes into the room, a bottle of liquor in each hand and a crooked smile on his lips. 

*** * ***

It's barely past dawn when Uhtred wakes up, the bed moving as Finan climbs out. He's heading out early with Sihtric to go rock climbing. "What time is it?" Uhtred asks, his voice quiet so as not to rouse Hild, still asleep on the other side of him. "Go back to sleep," Finan says as he leans over to kiss Uhtred goodbye, then kisses Hild's head. 

Uhtred mouths, "be safe" to him.

Finan nods, whispering, "if you do something crazy, take pictures for me." 

Uhtred rolls his eyes but laughs. He curls his body around Hild, pulling her into his chest, burying his face in her hair. The past couple of days have been wild in the best kind of way. He hadn't realized just how much he missed the simple act of touching someone and being touched in return. If you asked him six months ago, he never would have imagined this would happen.

Hild stretches and yawns as she wakes, pulling Uhtred back into the present. Hild turns slightly to face him, pulling the sheet up over her mouth. 

"Good morning," she whispers, and Uhtred gives her a look, but he leans down and presses his mouth against hers, the sheet between them. 

"Nuh-uh, move the sheet so I can kiss you," Uhtred says, drawing back slightly and tugging at the offensive fabric. 

"Ick, no! We probably taste like death." Hild argues, but Uhtred's hands are already finding her sides, tickling her with the tips of his fingers as she squirms, trying to keep a hold of the sheet. 

"No fair!" she shrieks, the sheet sliding down her chin, and Uhtred takes his chance, pressing a soft, chaste kiss to her mouth. Hild lets him, presses her lips back against his for a moment. He pulls back enough to let her roll over so they are face to face, and Hild cuddles down against him, her face hiding in the crook of his neck, her lips grazing over his throat every once in a while. 

"Did I miss Finan leaving?" Hild asks, as Uhtred slides his hand over her side, his palm resting on her bare thigh. 

"You did, he left only moments ago." 

"He's the only person I know who loves such extreme over the top activities," Hild says, laughing. "I'm so glad he's found that in Sihtric. And now we never have to go again." 

Uhtred laughs in agreement. "It's true, we must be so boring for him." 

"I think we are exactly what he needs..." Hild begins, but then she stops and starts kissing Uhtred's neck, the silence between them stretching almost too long before she starts to laugh and says, "We  _ are _ in the midst of a week-long threesome," against his neck. 

Uhtred hums in agreement, but he can't help but think about what Hild might have meant, what she might have left off… _ " and we're so perfect together"?  _ As friends, yes. But more? Uhtred can't go down that road, reminding himself it isn't part of their arrangement, and he has to respect that. Uhtred agrees that perhaps, they are not boring on all accounts. "You're like a naughty teacher, having wild vacation threesomes. Who knew a history teacher would have such an exciting sex life." 

Hild chuckles and then sighs, "Please, let's not talk about teaching right now…" 

"Are you worried about the job?" There are many reasons why Uhtred wants Hild to get this job she's applied for, and it's not just because it would mean she's closer to him and the kids. She wouldn't have to commute to London anymore, and most importantly, he knows how much better it would be for her career. She's spent so long working toward this, Uhtred wants it for her as badly as she wants it herself. 

"I'm not worried per se, I'm just nervous about getting my hopes up, you know?" Hild says, with a shrug. "But who am I kidding? They're already up. I'm excited about the possibility of what that job would mean. I would finally get to be the one to decide what goes into the program, have a little control over what students should be learning! And maybe they'll even throw in a research assistant." Hild laughs, shaking her head. "I know I sound crazy."

Uhtred shakes his head, "No. Do you know how proud I am of you?" She smiles up at him, and he looks down at her, and they share a tranquil moment together, just looking at each other. There's something that feels so  _ right _ about the moment. Uhtred leans down and kisses her nose.

"I'm proud of you of you too, you know," Hild says, her hand resting on his chest. "Look at all you have accomplished, you've worked your way up, and you've raised these amazing kids." 

Uhtred is about to tell her how he wouldn't have been able to do it without her, but before the words leave his mouth, he starts to doubt himself.  _ Fuck, this is stupid.  _ Uhtred thinks. _ Would I have hesitated before? I really am so grateful and so proud, and I can't believe I get to kiss her. I know we agreed it's just sex. It's just sex, and our friendship is still great, and this is just for fun. I need to dial it back.  _

"We are getting super sappy now," Uhtred says aloud, laughing, hopefully not too loudly as he tries to distract them from the intimate feeling of the moment. He slides his hand over Hild's arse and gives it a squeeze. He curls his hand around her thigh to hitch it up higher, over his hip, pushing his body against hers just enough for her to feel his excitement. 

Hild laughs softly but lets her head fall back, her throat exposed as she sighs, clearly enjoying Uhtred's hands traveling up her body. He runs the back of his knuckles along her throat, along her collarbone, and then he pulls her up over him. They kiss for a few seconds before Uhtred trails his kisses down to her breasts. Hild breath hitches as he cups one of her breasts in his hand, licking over her nipple, flicking at it with the tip of his tongue. Their eyes meet, Hild's pupils are wide and dark, and he sucks the tip into his mouth, this time grazing his teeth over her, pleasantly surprised at the low, sweet moan he draws from her. 

It's quiet in their room except for the sound of Uhtred's mouth on her skin and Hild's intermittent moans. They slowly build a rhythm, rocking against one another. As Uhtred reaches for a condom on the bedside table, his stomach growls so loudly, it startles them both. Hild bursts out laughing, and Uhtred groans, pressing his face into her breasts before she climbs off him. The moment clearly lost, Uhtred reaches down to adjust himself in his boxers, that's going to have to go away on its own for now. 

"I think we better get you some breakfast," Hild teases as she sits at the end of the bed, braiding her hair into a braid. Uhtred heaves himself out of bed and stands at the closet, looking for a shirt. 

"I'm going shopping later, with Ellie and Eadith. Is there anything I can get you?" Hild asks, pointing to one of the two shirts Uhtred holds up for her to choose. "I can add it to my list." Uhtred pulls the white t-shirt over his head, thinking for a moment that maybe they could get some little souvenirs for the kids for when they get back from Denmark. 

"Maybe you can grab a couple things for Teddy and Stiorra?" Uhtred asks, holding the bedroom door open for her as they make their way into the loft's lounge. 

*** * ***

"I do hope they have a good time," Osferth says, waving as the women drove off in the rental car to spend the afternoon shopping. 

Finan laughs, patting Osferth on the back. "Don't worry, lover boy, she'll be back soon. Now, who's up for a workout?" 

"Thanks," Sihtric says. "But I worked out early this morning with Ellie, we went on a run together."

Finan looks at him out of the corner of his eye, because  _ of course,  _ he went with Ellie this morning. Finan's pretty sure it's only a matter of time before those two start disappearing off on their own for something a little more athletic than a jog.

"I refuse to work out unless I'm running for my life, and unless someone plans to kill me today, working out is not on my list," Osferth says, and its times like these Finan has no idea how he manages to keep a girlfriend like Eadith but who is Finan to judge. "I am open to a mental workout. Sihtric, would you like to play chess with me while Finan goes to sweat outside?"

"Sure, it's not that complicated of a game, right?" Finan has to bite his lip at Osferth's face, which is clearly not impressed. 

Finan looks at Uhtred and raises an eyebrow questioningly. Uhtred, who's finishing up the most boring breakfast known to mankind - egg white omelet and honeydew - nods.

Maybe if they do their workout quickly, they can take advantage of their "agreement" and end up doing a bit more than just running and stretching together. Uhtred wolfs down the rest of this breakfast, and Finan grabs his plate from in front of him, shoving it in the sink before he's leading Uhtred outside. It's mid-morning, and the temperature is still bearable. 

"You want to go for a quick run to get our heart rates up?" Uhtred suggests, and Finan nods, trying not to get distracted by the curve of Uhtred's jaw as he pulls his hair into a haphazard bun on top of his head. 

They head down the driveway and out onto the road, Finan letting Uhtred lead so he can take advantage of watching the Dane's ass in his shorts. Finan wishes he were a better man, but he knows Uhtred appreciates the ogle as much as Finan does. They run for five kilometers, according to Uhtred's Apple Watch. When they are almost back at the villa, Finan slows down next to a densely wooded area. 

"How about we do some pull-ups over there?" Finan suggests, pointing to the trees a few meters away. "It's like our own personal nature gym." 

Uhtred laughs but seems convinced as they head off the road and into the woods. It's denser than Finan realized at first, and by the time they find a tree big enough to use for pull-ups, they are entirely shielded by the trees from the road. They take turns counting, but when it's Uhtred's turn Finan is a bit distracted. There's a lot of rapid breathing and sweat involved. When Uhtred takes a quick break to wipe his brow with the bottom of his shirt, Finan can't help but peek at Uhtred's abs, nor can he ignore the outline of Uhtred's firm butt when he's squatting. It's challenging to concentrate. When Finan stumbles counting, Uhtred smirks, and Finan makes a face at him. Uhtred knows very well why Finan is affected. But neither one of them seem quite ready or confident enough to do anything to move this further along. Finan wants to, really fucking badly if he's honest, but it's like being outside of the house has shed new light or at least  _ different _ light on the situation. 

"So… how do you like the vacation so far?" Finan asks, and he hopes Uhtred gets his drift that he's not just talking about the trip.

Uhtred doesn't play around and goes straight to the point. "I really like it. It was a surprise but definitely a good one so far."

Finan is relieved because although Uhtred has always been open about being bisexual;, as far as Finan knows, he never acted on it much before this trip. Finan himself had understood he was bisexual most of his life. At the very least, he was confident when throughout one weekend, teenage Finan fooled around with Sarah from Math class  _ and _ Conor from the football team. Unfortunately for him, Sarah saw him and Conor, which created quite the scandal when she told on them. Finan's parents had been less than supportive, going so far as to say to him that as long as he was under their roof, he'd act as they expected and no, in their words,  _ devious behavior _ . As soon as he could, he left Ireland and his bigoted family to go study in York, where lucky him, he found Hild and Uhtred two years later. 

Finan's demeanor must give something away because Uhtred smiles at him. "It wasn't my first time with a man," Uhtred says, leaning against one of the trees. "It was the  _ second _ ." He laughs. "Exploring this has been...really nice." 

Finan forgot about his other experience and his questioning look has Uhtred smiling. 

"Remember Erik? The guy was in my English lit class in college?" Suddenly Finan's memory was clearing. "We had an awkward one night stand in the back of his car just before I met Gisela. It was Halloween night, and I couldn't help myself when Erik showed up dressed as a Viking."

Finan laughs, "What did you dress up as?" 

"A pirate." 

"Damn, and I missed it all because I worked the bar that night." Intrigued, Finan asks, his eyebrows moving up and down suggestively. "Do you still have the costume?" 

Uhtred just waves him off laughing, but Finan gets more serious and is more open and honest then he expected to get. Even though Uhtred is his best friend, it makes everything both easier and harder to navigate. "I'm glad not to be your first big gay experience or that you didn't turn around screaming when we kissed in the hot tub," Finan says, half-jokingly as they both know there's some truth to it. 

"I'm glad too," Uhtred says, but he gives him a funny look to break the tension and adds, "I mean, I  _ almost _ ran screaming." 

Finan laughs now too, admitting, "Okay, good, me too!" Finan shifts his body, so he's leaning on a tree closer to Uhtred, but not quite touching him. "I'm glad we had this talk. I realize we never talked all that much about it before, but I don't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable or go further than you would be okay with."

"Finan, I know that, and I trust you already. And in case it wasn't clear, I'm very much on board."

"Very on board, hmm?" Finan asks. Uhtred nods and looks back toward the road they can't even see from where they stand before he closes the gap between them and kisses Finan quickly. 

"I'm going to prove how on board I am," Uhtred says, in a very determined voice that Finan finds so endearing and he can't help but kiss Uhtred again, his hand finally getting to caress the sharp edge of Uhtred's jaw he's been wanting to touch for hours. Their kiss deepens, tongues slipping over each other, tentatively licking against one another. Finan pulls Uhtred close, and they feel their cocks pressing together through the thin layers of their workout clothes. 

Finan groans when Uhtred pulls his mouth away, but when Uhtred is dropping to his knees in front of Finan, he almost growls. He can't help but feel his cock throb and his chest tighten. "Uhtred, you don't have to do this," Finan pants. Uhtred hasn't even touched him, and he's already breathing heavily. 

"Would you please shut up and let me unzip your pants?" Finan's cock throbs again; he likes this bossy side of Uhtred. Finan takes a step back to settle against the trunk of the tree they had just been doing pull-ups on. He watches as Uhtred runs his fingers along the waistband of Finan's shorts, dragging his palm over his bulge before he unzips Finan's pants, pulling them open just enough to get his dick out. 

Uhtred's hand wraps around Finan's dick slowly, taking his time to stroke him. "I want to know what you like," Uhtred says, and Finan's dick throbs in the tight grasp of Uhtred's hand. 

"Christ, all of it, I like all of it." The last part of his sentence is a strangle sob as Uhtred takes Finan in his mouth. Finan slams his head back against the tree as the hotness of Uhtred's mouth surrounds his cock. He takes his time, bobbing his mouth back and forth, almost all the way to the tips before sucking Finan back in. It feels so good Finan thinks he might pass out. 

Finan can't quite wrap his head around the fact they've already decided to put an end to whatever this is before it's even really started. He knows it's most likely a pipe dream to imagine they could continue this after returning home in England. But he slips his hand onto Uhtred's face, and Uhtred looks up, their eyes locking as Uhtred continues to suck up and down on Finan's cock. This blow job is more intense and intimate than some of the relationships Finan has had. 

"Jesus Christ, yes." Finan groans. "Your mouth is so fucking hot and wet." His words seem to spur Uhtred on, and he takes Finan deeper into his mouth, which only causes Finan to start babbling. "Fuck. Yes, that's it, baby. I love it when you take me all the way back." He should probably be embarrassed how affected he is by how much Uhtred's mouth makes Finan want to give Uthred everything. "Fuck, I'm going to come. Stop for a second." 

Uhtred backs off, his mouth pulling off of Finan with a wet pop, and he looks at Finan hesitantly. "Is everything okay?" 

"Fuck yes," Finan says, but he's dropping to his knees, pushing at Uhtred's shorts. "But I need to touch you." Uhtred looks relieved, and he pulls Finan into a kiss, his mouth unresistant as Finan's tongue delves in, tasting himself in Uthred's mouth. They stroke each other quickly, shoulders leaning on one another. The heads of their cocks bump together every once in a while as they pull and tug. "I'm fucking close already," Uhtred admits, his tongue sweeping through Finan's mouth, his teeth biting playfully at Finan's lower lip.

"Me too," Finan murmurs into Uthred's mouth, breathing in Uhtred's moan as Uhtred comes first, the sticky warmth making Finan's hand slide over him even faster. Finan presses close, and he let's go of Uhtred's dick to wrap his fist over Uhtred's around his own dick. The slickness of Uhtred's come makes their hands glide effortlessly; the messiness of it all is what draws Finan's orgasm out of him. He comes with a muffled shout, his face buried in Uhtred's neck. They take a moment to breathe, their foreheads pressed together as they find their bearings.

"A tad untraditional, but very effective physical activity." Finan jokes when he catches his breath, helping Uhtred stand up on wobbly legs. 


	4. Chapter 4

On their final full day in Hungary, they decided unanimously to go to a public garden nearby, a gorgeous green space with a lake, trees, and path everywhere. It's the perfect place to ride their bikes and bring a blanket to have a picnic. They spread out in smaller groups not long after they snack on the food they brought along. 

Hild is splayed out on a blanket under the shade of a tree, is deep in the romance novel she brought along, full of cliches but a great distraction nonetheless. Ellie is sitting beside her, mindlessly scrolling on Instagram and turning every once and a while to ask Hild's opinions on things she does not have an opinion on. But Hild is Ellie's only distraction; Osferth and Eadith are feeding the swans - swan food and not bread. Osferth was very adamant; they do nothing to distract from a stringent diet for swans. And Finan, Uhtred, and Sihtric are kicking around a football that Finan had thrown in his backpack.

"Oh! You should see that!" Ellie turns her phone toward her to show Hild something, but before she can see the screen, the football flies through the air and lands by their feet, causing them to jump, clutching at their chests in surprise. 

"What the hell!?" Hild yells in the direction of the guys. Uhtred has his hand in front of his gaping mouth, and Finan looks like a little shit - and guilty! 

Sihtric jogs over, smiling apologetically, to retrieve the ball, and even if Hild's mind is bustling over Uhtred and Finan, she has to admit that a slightly sweaty and shirtless Sihtric is a sight to behold. 

Sihtric takes the ball from Ellie's hand, throws her a wink and a breathy "Sorry!" Very smooth. Ellie blushes and looks intently at Sihtric's ass as he walks away. Neither of them are subtle if you ask Hild.

"You're not very chill," Hild tells Ellie, teasing her. Sisters were created to be teased, in any case. 

"Oh, you're one to talk." 

Hild is used to people trying to change the subject, she is a teacher after all and runs after Uhtred's kids every other day, so she just reopens her book, ignoring the jab. Also, she refuses to even go there. 

She's not even a sentence into the next chapter when she hears Ellie clear her throat. "Do you think Sihtric is a good guy?" Hild looks over to watch Ellie starring Sihtric. 

"I do. Finan thinks very highly of him, and so does Uhtred." 

Ellie nods, "I think so too. Do you know if he's been single for a while?"

Hild isn't sure; she doesn't think he had anything serious because she never met or heard about a partner in the few years she's been hearing about him. "I think so," she says to her sister. Ellie nods, but she keeps nodding for a beat too long. 

"Like I said, no chill. You should go for it." 

Ellie squints in her direction with a grimace, but she's not one to let Hild off easily. "What about what's going on in your love life?" Ellie asks with a smirk. 

That backfired on her quickly. "Nothing is going on," Hild replies casually, but she can't help herself, and she moves around the blanket, fidgeting with her book. 

"For all the crap you're giving me, you aren't much better. Sihtric told me he walked in on you with Uhtred and Finan. And more than once." Ellie says, looking at her Hild with raised eyebrows. "I can't believe you didn't even tell me about it!" 

Hild's heart skips a beat, and she quickly glances back at the boys playing footy further down the lawn. She doesn't remember Sihtric walking in on them; they had been so careful to not let anyone know. Maybe they hadn't been all that subtle in the kitchen earlier this week when Sihtric interrupted the beginning of a fun afternoon between her, Finan, and Uhtred. Fuck. 

"Nothing is going on. Just drop it." Hild doesn't want to have this conversation, and her tone, a tone she knows Ellie has heard over the years, implies as much. And just like Hild, Ellie does what she always does, she ignores it. 

"I see the lingering touches and the way they look at you. The way you look at them. I've been around the three of you for long enough, and I'm used to your weird dynamic, but you've stepped it up lately. Don't take me for an idiot." 

Hild looks at her sister, and then she sighs and shrugs her shoulders. The secret is burning her lips to get out. "Fine. I...decided to just…have some vacation fun with the  _ both of them _ ," Hild can't help but blush terribly and hide her face in her open book. She really can't believe she's telling her baby sister about her sex life involving threesomes. 

Ellie's mouth opens in a perfect O, and she whisper-screams, "ALL THREE OF YOU AT THE SAME TIME?" 

"Shhh! But yes, all three of us. And no, I am not getting into the specifics with you."

Ellie's eyebrows raise comically high, but she adds nothing, seemingly shocked, while Hild wonders what to say. Saying it out loud to someone outside of the three of them makes it feel different and real in a way that it hasn't up until now. Not that it didn't feel  _ real _ because it damn sure did, but there was almost an ethereal quality to it like if they existed in the consciousness of just the three of them, it would be easier to...go back to normal after it was all over. 

Hild looks away from Ellie and over to Osferth and Eadith, who are being disgustingly cute with the swans. It doesn't make her feel any better.

"Well… Well," Ellie begins, and then stops, clearing her throat. Hild always wondered how her sister could be so eloquent. Hild looks back toward her, and Ellie finally says, "I wasn't expecting all three of you, but you guys live in each other's pocket, and I shouldn't be all that surprised." 

Hild is getting the feeling she doesn't understand the arrangement correctly. "Don't get any idea, we're just… letting some steam out during vacation. We're just having fun. Temporarily" 

Ellie laughs as if what Hild has just said is crazy. When Hild doesn't laugh with her, Ellie gives her a side look. "Hild, come on! You can't be serious. That is such a bad idea." 

Ellie is rubbing Hild the wrong way, and she clenches her teeth, inhaling deeply through her nose. "We're all adults and great friends. Of course, we can have fun without having romantic feelings! This is 2021! We are not the first nor the last group of friends to do something like this. We talked about it, and we all agreed. We're just enjoying each other while we are on vacation." Hild honestly couldn't understand why Ellie is suddenly so traditional with her ideas. 

"Sure," Ellie says, and she sounds so doubtful, but Hild will take it anyway. She doesn't want to hear any more of her sister's surprisingly conservative viewpoints. "I think for someone with a doctorate, you are pretty dumb. But what do I know?" 

Hild doesn't reply and just reopens her book, pointedly ignoring Ellie. She may have enjoyed reading a romance novel here or there to disappear into another world, but it wasn't something she was actively looking for. Hild was grateful that Finan and Uthred seemed to understand that but were still open to having some fun while they were here. Both of them had been so respectful of her need to know precisely where they stood and how she'd really wanted to scratch that itch with two people she could trust. And it didn't hurt that the sex had been phenomenal. It had been years since Hild had orgasmed so easily with a partner, or at all if she was honest. It irked Hild that Ellie was so blatantly against it and that she'd told Hild she was stupid to think it would work without issue. 

Ellie goes back to scrolling through Instagram, and Hild refuses to look up from her book. Hild's been reading the same paragraph over and over, unable to concentrate on her novel. She looks up when the three guys wander toward them, making a ruckus and laughing together. She can't help but notice how perfectly sweaty and gorgeous they are, nor can she stop her brain going back to that very morning when they had the most perfect shower sex with Finan, while Uhtred was still dozing off, and the cuddle that had followed it. 

Uhtred drops to his knee beside her, "What that you're reading?" he asks, and Hild tips her book to show him the cover. 

Before she can tell Uhtred anything about the novel, Finan interrupts them. "I'm peckish. Let's get ice cream; I saw a truck over there," he says, pointing to the other side of the lake. He might not have a sweet tooth, but he cannot resist ice cream - something they share since neither can Hild. 

"You know I can't say no to ice cream," she says to him, laughing as he grabs her hand and pulls her up from her spot. She turns to Ellie and Sihtric, sitting side by side, so close their arms are practically touching. "Are you guys coming with us?" 

"Bring me back a popsicle, and I'll stay here to watch our things," Ellie says, giving Hild a look that clearly reads as Ellie wanting to be alone with Sihtric.

"Make that two, please," Sihtric says, and Uhtred claps Sihtric on the shoulder when he stands back up. They call to Eadith and Osferth, who aren't interested in ice cream (Osferth is lactose intolerant). In the end, it's only Hild, Uhtred, and Finan walking the path that leads across the park. 

Thankfully it's not overly busy today, even though it's a beautiful summer day. Finan throws his arm around Hild's shoulders, and she tries not to make it obvious when she inhales his woodsy scent. Even after playing football in the sun, he still smells good, and Hild allows herself to sink against his side, slipping her arm around his waist. 

"Having a good day?" Uhtred asks, his hand touching hers for a moment to get her attention. She nods, looking back over her shoulder in the direction of their friends.

"Do you think Sihtric will make a move on Ellie?" Hild asks the two of them. "She's not all that subtle with her crush…" 

Finan laughs. "What happened to you being anti-Ellie and Sihtric?" he asks, reminding her about her reaction the other day in the kitchen. 

"Maybe I see the writing on the wall," Hild says, rolling her eyes at him before looking at them both more seriously. "I think she really does like him." 

"I don't think you have to worry," Uhtred says. "He's just waiting for the right opportunity."

"He  _ may _ have asked us if Ellie was...available." Finan agrees. As they make their way to the ice cream truck, Uhtred turns to Hild, asking, "Your conversation with Ellie looked serious, and you seemed upset, is everything okay?" 

Hild nods, "Yeah, it's fine. Just a sisterly disagreement. All good." She reaches out and squeezes his arm. "Thank you for asking." 

"Besides," Finan says, "Impossible she'd be in a bad mood after we made her come three times this morning." 

Uhtred shakes his head. "You guys were so noisy this morning after you left the bed. Even with the shower running, I could still hear you." 

"You should have joined us," Hild says, slipping out of Finan's grasp to read over the sign for the ice cream. 

"There's always  _ plenty _ to go around," Finan concurs with a grin, placing an arm around Uhtred's shoulder.

"I needed my beauty sleep more than I needed your dick," Uhtred whispers playfully, not all that quietly, under his breath. "I haven't slept in three days because you have kept me up every night. The two of you are  _ insatiable _ ." 

Hild looks at him with a bemused look, "Says the man who sucked Finan's dick in the forest near the house because he couldn't wait to get back inside?"

"If we're keeping score, I seem to remember you defiling the library room on your knees as well," Uhtred says. Finan throws his arm around Hild's shoulder, having an arm around each of them and the smuggest look he ever sported from all the attention his dick is getting. "Like I said,  _ plenty _ to go around. Enough for everyone to have their  _ fill _ ." 

Uhtred groans, "We need to stop talking about this right now. Can I remind you, we are in a public garden?"

"Are you getting all hot and bothered?" Hild asks as she leans in to discreetly palm over Uhtred's crotch. Uhtred jumps, causing her and Finan to laugh loudly. 

They let go of each other and line up at the ice-cream truck. They opt to grab Ellie and Sihtric's orders on the way back, and instead of going back right away, sit down under a tree slightly off the main path, providing them with a little privacy. "Is my dick being sucked by both of you at the park is out of the question?" Finan asks, jumping back in their previous discussion like he wasn't very seriously debating why lemon sorbet was highly superior to caramel swirl just seconds before. 

"You're an idiot if you think I'm going to suck your dick in a public park," Hild replies, though she begins licking her vanilla cone suggestively, curling her tongue around the top. A choked off groan from Uhtred draws Hild's attention to him, and she gives him the same treatment. Uhtred shakes his head. "You're a menace," he says, leaning his head against Finan's shoulder, who's sitting between them.

"Are you up for round two of sex in nature?" Finan asks. "Seeing as Miss Hild is a party pooper. I wouldn't mind a replay…" Uhtred grins, shoving Finan slightly with his shoulder. Finan runs his hand up Uhtred's back, his hand coming up to cup the back of Uhtred's neck. Uhtred looks over at him with a heated gaze, and Hild feels a rush of pleasure along her spine as she watches Uhtred lean in to kiss Finan on the mouth. In what is a relatively chaste kiss considering what they've been up to lately. 

"Sorry, that's all you'll get this time around," Uhtred says teasingly, pressing a second peck on Finan's lips. 

Hild sighs at the view. "I am going to miss this when we go back home." They both look so carefree in a way she never noticed was missing before.

"What?" Finan asks. "Watching us kiss or having three orgasms a day?" 

"That happened only once, but yes, I will miss both of those things." 

"Once so far, yes." He replies with a wink and a very  _ interesting  _ grin. She smiles despite herself at his antics. The easy access to pleasure while being able to be completely herself was something she was going to long for after she pushed it out of her life once again. 

"I mean, we don't have to stop just because we get back to England. We're having fun. I see no reason to stop." 

Hild laughs, a bit louder than she means for it to come out. "Hah. You're funny!" She says, looking at Finan like he's just grown horns out of his head. "You know I barely have time to eat lunch most days, let alone cater to both of your  _ needs _ ."

"I mean, technically, you only have to look after 50% of those needs..." Finan jokes, but Hild can feel Uhtred watching her intently. She glances his way, and he smiles at her, seemingly unphased by her quick shut down to Finan's question. 

"Should we get those popsicles for Ellie and Sihtric?" Hild asks, changing the subject as she stands up. She pretends not to notice the quick look that Uhtred and Finan exchange as they head back to the truck to grab the popsicles and head back across the park. Hild knew what they were hinting at, and Finan was testing the waters. But she refuses to even consider it. She poured her heart and soul into her studies, her PhDs, her teaching job, and her students. She can't start adding maintaining a relationship and all it entails on top of it. She'd be terrible at it anyway.

The walk is good for Hild and her slightly frazzled nerves. By the time they are back to where Ellie and Sihtric are sitting, much closer to one another than they were when they'd left, Hild feels as though almost nothing has been said. She's just going to enjoy the moment and ignore whatever apprehension she'd felt earlier. 

When they get back to the villa, pizza and beer in tow, they are all tired from the day at the park, and they sprawl out in the lounge to enjoy their last evening together. "Is it normal to be so exhausted at the end of a vacation?" Sihtric asks, cutting off Uhtred's sales pitch of  _ Shawshank Redemption _ . Ellie is next to him, and Sihtric's arm is tentatively around her shoulders. Whatever conversation had occurred while Hild and the guys were getting ice cream seems to have progressed the relationship between Sihtric and Ellie. 

"It's the heat," Osferth says. "You're probably dehydrated. That will get you every time. Water. Clear and copious liquids, my friends. That's what saves you." Osferth says, taking a sip of his San Pellegrino. Hild laughs, shaking her head at him. She's beginning to enjoy the weird and often useless facts Osferth doles out to them regularly. 

"What about  _ The Notebook _ ?" Eadith suggests, and everyone groans. 

"I want to watch Dirty Dancing," says Ellie.

"Absolutely not!" Finan announces while Hild whispers to him, "Nobody puts baby in a corner" in a singsong voice.

Finan ignores her entirely and continues, "I'll have that song stuck in my head for the next month. I'm also saying no to  _ Footloose _ . My sister made me watch that too often, and I refuse to be subjected to it willingly again." 

Uhtred suggests  _ Die Hard _ , and Hild covers his mouth before he can go into his lengthy rant about how it actually is a love story. Which, of course, makes Hild's suggestion of  _ Eat Pray Love _ shot down immediately by Uhtred, though she knew he secretly likes it. 

"Eadith, just close your eyes and pick a random movie," Sihtric suggests with a sigh. Hild agrees; they'll be here all night if they keep vetoing each other's options. Eadith closes her eyes dramatically and jams her finger on the remote button until she stops, and it lands on the movie  _ Friends with Benefits.  _

Eadith cackles loudly, "That never works! Like you can have sex with your best friend and not fall in love. Classic trope!" 

Silence fills the lounge after she speaks, and Hild doesn't know where to look. She actually contemplates not looking up for the remainder of the night, but she casually raises her gaze and finds her sister staring at her with wide intent eyes. And next to Ellie, she can see Sihtric looking knowingly between Finan and Uhtred. No one says anything for a beat too long. 

"I do believe you're right, honey," Osferth says as if he's just spent the whole awkward moment contemplating Eadith's statement. 

"No one else has an opinion?" Eadith asks, but she's met with a bunch of shrugs and evasive glances and "Okay then…moving on. What do you guys think of  _ Grease _ ?" 

Ellie and Finan begin to argue about which is superior,  _ Grease _ or  _ Grease 2 _ , and Hild jumps slightly when she feels Uhtred's hand come down on top of hers where she's been resting it on his thigh. Maybe Eadith is right, and they've been doomed since the start? Was this a terrible idea? She looks up at him and gives him an awkward but hopefully comedic smile. "Just going to use the washroom," she whispers, patting his leg awkwardly and fleeing the room to the small powder room on the main floor where she turns on the cold water, splashing it on her face. 

"Fuck," she hisses, looking at herself in the mirror. "What the fuck does Eadith know? Nothing. Boundaries were set. Everyone agreed. No reason for this to fail" She takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly. She was not going to let this ruin her night. This was their last night. They had to make the most of it.

She returns to the living room, no movie having been chosen, and lies down on the floor instead of going back to sit on the couch with Uhtred. "I need to stretch out my back," she says when he asks if she's okay. It's  _ absolutely _ because she wants to stretch out her back and  _ definitely _ not because distance feels like the right thing to do to convince herself. Not at all. 

In the end, the group settles on  _ Ocean Eleven _ , and Hild watches the movie half-heartedly, spending most of the time wondering if her toes playing on Uhtred calves is something she would have done before. Surely she would have. Right? She spends the rest of the time wondering how she'll recover from this weird mood she seems to be in from both her conversation with Ellie at the park and from the friend with benefit comment earlier. She's not ready to stop short this arrangement. She has another 14 hours, and she doesn't want to waste it. Not that any of her internal pep talks helps her find her inner peace and stop acting weird. When the movie ends, she's relieved to go back to her room and pack, if only to be away from Ellie's concerned stare. 

She knows this agreement might be unconventional, and yes, she knows there might be some awkwardness at first when they get back home to England, but if anything, this will strengthen their friendship. How could it not? With that in mind, Hild is determined that she will enjoy tonight and stop thinking about whatever awkward conversations might happen tomorrow. 

She's the first one upstairs, and she takes the opportunity to start packing the rest of the clothes she just washed this morning. She hears Finan and Uhtred talking in the loft's lounge area, but she can't hear them well enough to understand what they say to each other. A minute later, the shower starts in the bathroom, and she hears a knuckle rap at her door frame. When she looks up, it's Finan, looking at her from her open door as he leans against the doorframe. Hild hopes he doesn't bring up her weird mood earlier, but Finan wouldn't be Finan if he didn't fuss over everyone's feelings. It's one of his best qualities, but tonight she wishes he was less attentive to others. 

He doesn't say anything, thank god, but raises his eyebrows questioningly in her direction when she catches his eyes. He looks good in his grey sweatpants, hair tousled, and looking so open and inviting. She finishes folding her last dress and smiles at him, in what she hopes is conveying how much she wants this without showing how much she's been overthinking it. It must do the trick because Finan smiles softly for a second before it turns into a more devious grin, and he says, "Uhtred is in the shower, and since he  _ complained _ about us getting off without him this morning, I thought we could attack him tonight?"

She can't hold back a snort and nods, beginning to undress right then and there, under the heavy eyes of Finan.

"What? What are you looking at?" she teases.

He gives her a soft smile and walks towards her, reaching for her without replying, taking her hand and bringing her flush against him. He bends down to kiss her unhurriedly, not letting her take control of the kiss like she wants to. She wants it hot and dirty, and she wants to get lost in him, but Finan isn't letting her have it. He's forcing her to slow down every time she tries to deepen the kiss. He pets her neck gently and rubs his thumb on her cheek. He turns the kiss into affectionate pecks on her lips and at the corner of her mouth, not letting her get what she wants until she huffs but finally, let's go and allows her shoulders to relax, the tension leaving her body. She laughs under his attention, and she sticks her tongue out at him. That must have been the missing part because he smiles, eyes bright, and a second later, his mouth crashes on hers, tongue and teeth, and she feels it down to her core. 

She pushes down his pants for him, and before they hit the floor, he's already tugging her toward the bathroom to join a soapy Uhtred. Finan opens the door and lets her slip inside, his hand grazing over her backside and squeezing with an appreciative swat. 

"What took you so long?" asks Uhtred, turning to face them. He's already gloriously hard, holding himself in his hand and looking at Hild with an intense hunger that Hild feels directly between her legs. Hild doesn't wait to kiss him, pressing herself against his warm, wet body.

"We have unfinished business," she murmurs against his mouth, and Uhtred raises his eyebrows in question. "Finan really wanted us both to suck his dick earlier, didn't he?" Uhtred's grin is broad, and before Finan can say a word about how this was supposed to be about  _ Uhtred _ , they are both helping each other to their knees in front of Finan. Hild relishes the feeling of Finan's hand in her hair, the tips of his fingers pressing against her scalp in the most pleasing way. Not hard or pushing, just  _ there _ , letting her know he's here. She likes knowing he does the same to Uhtred, seeing the movement from the corner of her eyes. Finan's cock is hard and warm when Hild wraps her hand around it, stroking him from root to tip before Uhtred puts his mouth over the head. Hild makes space for Uhtred and continues to stroke Finan back and forth into Uhtred's mouth. When he pops off, his eyes heavy with want, they kiss above Finan, their tongues teasing him. Hild moves to take Finan in her own mouth, Uhtred replacing her hand. He's heavy in her mouth, tasting salty and so much like him. Her lips are tight around his shaft, and there are few things more empowering than watching this strong and powerful man all but fall apart because of the way she moves her mouth. 

She pulls her mouth off of Finan as Uhtred begins to tug at him with one hand. With the other, he pulls Hild to him, their mouths meeting, sharing the taste of Finan between them. They each take turns to suck him, interrupted by hungry kisses, their mouths wet and needy. After the last kiss, they look up at Finan, and Hild's not quite sure she's ever seen him so turned on. "I need to fucking taste both of you now. Let's get out of here." Finan says, his voice more like a growl. Pleasure shoots up Hild's spine in anticipation. Quickly they get out of the shower, sharing kisses between them as they dry off and head to Uhtred's bed, stumbling around. 

They settle on the bed quickly, without any awkwardness between them and filled with the quiet assurance that usually only comes with time. Hild kisses Finan, rubbing her body against his naked and still slightly damp skin. Uhtred has barely climbed onto the bed next to her, and Finan's fingers are pushing between her legs. He touches her sex with the most teasingly and torturous strokes, finding her wet and ready for him already. She feels like she's been ready all day since she left them this morning. Finan finally pushes two fingers inside her, and she groans against Uhtred's mouth, who molds his body to her front. Uhtred's hand joins Finan, the pad of his finger circling her clit slowly as Finan continues to pump his fingers in and out of her. 

"I love how wet you get for us," Finan growls, his face in her neck, sucking and biting at the soft skin there. Uthred leans down to take her nipple in his mouth, licking over the already hardened tip. "You know what I really want?" Finan whispers, his mouth traveling up her neck to her ear, peppering kisses along the way. "I want to see you fuck Uhtred." 

"I want to see  _ you _ fuck Uhtred," Hild responds, and she feels Uhtred smile against her skin.

"I am very down with all of this," Uhtred says gleefully, and both Hild and Finan laugh at his eagerness. Finan curls his fingers just right, drawing pleasure out of her and making her toes curl, but before it gets too much, he slowly withdraws his fingers from Hild's pussy and pushes them into Uhtred's mouth. Hild moans at the vision of Uhtred licking Finan's fingers languidly, sucking them slowly and taking his time with each one, chasing her taste. When Finan pulls his hand back, Uhtred leans over Hild's shoulder to kiss him, pressing the taste of Hild into Finan's mouth with his tongue. "So fucking sweet," Uhtred says when they pull apart. Uhtred looks down at Hild and  _ fuck _ , thinks Hild,  _ is this what it's like to be worshipped? _ Because the way Uhtred is looking at her right now makes her feel incredibly powerful and sexy.

They shuffle on the bed, and Uhtred settles on his back, Hild giving his thigh a loving pat as she shoves a pillow under his ass. She lays beside him, one hand supporting her head and the other one wrapping firmly around his cock, hard and wet at the tip already, as she starts to stroke him slowly. They both watch Finan squirt lube on his fingers, rubbing them together to warm the gel before he reaches down to Uhtred. Hild thinks she might have the best seat in the house as she can watch Uhtred's face fill with pleasure, eyes close and a beautiful flush coloring his cheeks. Finan's finger teases over his asshole with slow circular touches until he pushes one finger inside Uhtred. Hild feels his cock throb, the length of him growing even harder, his abs contracting, and undulating under her.

"How's that?" Finan asks Uhtred, and Uhtred nods.

"It's good. I can take another," Uhtred says, his voice almost urgent in need. Hild leans over to lick the head of Uhtred's cock as Finan pushes a second finger into him. Uhtred groans so loudly he has to throw his own arm over his mouth to muffle the sound. His reaction delights Hild to no end, and she wonders how she can pull more noises from him. She can't get enough of them. 

Finan's other hand twists in her hair and gently tugs her up and off of Uhtred's cock. "Let's not get him there too fast, yeah?" Finan says teasingly, and Uhtred whimpers making both Finan and Hild smile. Hild sits up and kneels toward Finan, pulling him to her to kiss him, unable to remains a passive participant. 

It's something else to watch these two gorgeous men pleasure each other, to know that they are hers, if only for a limited time. In the time they've been doing this, she realizes it's not just that Uhtred and Finan have learned how her body responds, but they've learned it about each other. And there's something incredibly heady about that realization. 

When Hild pulls back to breathe, the air feels electric with how much they want each other. She watches as Finan takes himself in hand, Uhtred squirming in anticipation of what is to come, and she feels almost drunk with lust. Finan reaches for a condom on the nightstand, and she helps him roll it down his cock, squeezing him teasingly before letting him go. He adds another dollop of lube and finally pushes the head of his cock into Uhtred's ass ever so slowly. Hild is fascinated by the view laid out before her, Uhtred covered in a thin layer of sweat, flushed from head to toe, his heavy cock bobbing with the rhythm of Finan's shallow thrusts. Hild follows a vein on Uhtred's cock with the tip of her finger, and when she dips at the head, she bends to kiss him softly. Uhtred groans and urges Finan to fuck him faster and deeper.

"When I'm good and ready, you demanding tyrant." Finan teases, snapping his hips slightly to thrust deeper into Uhtred, rendering him momentarily silent with a low groan. 

"Hild? You good?" Hild snaps back from her amazement of watching them fuck, and she nods, quickly working a condom on Uhtred and climbs onto him. She kneels over him, hovering just above his cock already at her entrance. Finan's hand holds Uhtred's dick still as she lets herself sink down onto it. She feels so full, a sudden relief to the ache she'd felt since Finan's fingers had left her wanting for more. Under her, Uhtred shivers, and he reaches for her. His hands sink into her hair, pulling her down for a kiss. The stretch of her body around him feels incredibly good, filling her in the best of ways. Uhtred groans her name against her mouth just as she murmurs his in response, her pussy pulsing around him.

Hild sits back up, impaling herself entirely on Uhtred. She looks down at him. "How does it feel? To be inside me and have Finan inside you at the same time?" Finan's hand slides from her hip to her butt, encouraging her to find a rhythm to match his. With each push and pull, Uhtred gets lost with pleasure, almost delirious and incoherent, completely unable to answer full sentences. Instead, he mumbles praises and pleas to them both. Hild grinds herself on him, rotating her hips when her knees can't follow the tempo Finan is imposing, chasing her own pleasure. 

Finan slides his hand from the swell of her ass to her thigh, his mouth finding her neck and pressing slow kisses into her skin. She feels his erratic breathing matching her own and the quick breathing of Uhtred under the palms of her hands she has pressed on his stomach. Hild leans down to kiss Uhtred when it's almost too much. She craves the feeling of his lips to hers. Finan brings the hand petting her thigh up to her back before sliding down again, his finger pausing against her ass. Seconds later, she feels Finan tease at her entrance, where she's joined to Uhtred so intimately. Her breath gets caught in her throat, and she moans loudly under the attention, feeling like it's too much and not enough at the same time. 

Uhtred swears under her, pushing his hips back against Finan and within her at the same time. She can feel the pleasure building in her, coiled tight and tingling almost within reach. She just needs a little push, and she'll get there. She pushes back up, hoping to get her hand on her clit, but Finan pulls her tight to his chest, one hand snaking around her middle, the other taking her breast in his hand, gently pinching a nipple, teasing the hardening bud between his fingers.

His mouth is whispering profanities in her ear, "Will you come for me, minx? Milk Uhtred dry for me?" He licks the shell of her ear and breathes heavily on her neck, snapping his hips behind her, making Uhtred whine. "We'll take you apart and put you back together before we take you apart  _ again _ ." With Finan cajoling her and Uhtred looking a wreck under her, she feels swallowed whole by the overwhelming pleasure building. She knows she starts talking, can feel her throat working around words, unable to keep them falling from her lips. She mumbles about how good it is, how good they are, promises of  _ always _ , and of how she can't walk away from this. 

She begs them not to stop over and over until Finan shushes her softly and whispers in the crook of her neck, "I got you, sweetheart, we both got you." 

Uhtred's fingers on her clit rub tight circles, and the filthy promises from Finan push her over the edge. She finally feels the wave of pleasure wash over her, coursing through her entire body, strong and encompassing. She feels more than sees Uhtred coming undone under her, straining against her hips and pushing back against Finan's thrust as he finds his own orgasm. 

Hild feels boneless, tingling, and satisfied like rarely before. Letting herself collapse on top of Uhtred. She lays her head on his chest, listening to the beat of his heart in overdrive while Uhtred kisses her forehead softly. She doesn't have the energy to turn around and watch Finan. Sitting on top of Uhtred, she feels the rhythm change, the thrusts getting more powerful and less precise. Finan's tummy hits her ass, completely on display as she's bent over their lover, his hand gripping her hips tightly and pulling them both back closer to him. When Finan comes, grunting loudly in the silent room, it feels like he came for her just as much as for Uhtred. She feels connected to him through Uhtred sandwiched between them both, through the marks of Finan's nails left on her skin, the feels of his hips against her. 

As her own heart slows down and she catches her breath, she closes her eyes, basking in the moment. Finan's hands on her back and Uhtred's on her neck anchoring her in the moment. Tomorrow she'll have to clean up the mess she got herself into. Walking away from this will take everything, but she still has a few hours ahead of her before she has to do anything about it. 

*** * ***

Uhtred is pulled from his sleep by ticklish fingers running softly along his cheeks, the bridge of his nose, and his hairline. When he blinks his eyes open, the room is bathed in the soft morning light filtering through the window, illuminating Finan in a halo of bright sunshine. It feels almost unreal. Finan, the owner of said fingers, smiles as he stares at him with soft eyes, the same eyes he realizes now he's been seeing for 15 years. It both feels very new and routine. 

Uhtred stretches and moans when his muscles loosen up, and it's even better when it makes him rub against the warm body lying beside him. Finan rubs his beard against his neck and licks at the hickey blooming on Uhtred's skin, although Uhtred can't remember who between Hild and Finan left it there last night. Uhtred is satiated like he's never been before. His back and thigh aches, and his lips feel tender and swollen. Uhtred turns around in Finan's embrace and snakes one leg around the Irishman, wanting to be closer. 

"Morning," Finan whispers in his ear. 

"Good morning," Uhtred is almost blissful when he answers, his face hidden in the hollow of Finan's throat. Only one thing is missing, "Where's Hild?".

Finan tips his head back and kisses him gently once, twice, three times before answering. "I woke up as the door was closing behind her this morning. I was hoping she was hunting coffee to bring back to bed. Alas, no coffee or sexy woman has come back to us yet."

"Alas," Uhtred answers, hiding his laugh before chasing Finan's lips again. He didn't get his fill just yet, and morning breath aside, this is the best kind of way to wake up. They get lost in the slide of tongues and roaming hands, but Hild absence's tug at Uhtred's mind. He runs his fingers under the cover where Hild slept, missing her and hoping to feel the heat of her body on the mattress, but it's long gone cold. His heart twinges when he realizes he won't get to cuddle with her this morning, smell her skin, and kiss her curves before they have to leave and go back to their everyday life.

Finan pulls back from their heated kiss. "We have to stop, or I'm no longer responsible for my action, and we won't get any packing done," warns Finan. He thrust his hips against Uhtred, and the feel of his half-hard dick sends shivers of desire down Uhtred's spine. Glancing at the clock, they have to get going in just a few minutes because neither one of them even started putting anything away, always pushing back to the last minute. 

"If only! But if we pack quickly, maybe we can manage something later," He winks and strokes Finan firmly just once before pecking his shoulder and moving his hand to safer places.

Finan hums noncommittally and resumes their kissing, but the heat from before is gone. They simply bask in the comfort of being in each other's arms. 

Uhtred wants to stretch this moment as much as he can. He's worried about leaving the security of the bed where he knows where they stand. He knows deep down what he wants is to continue exploring whatever this is, vacation or not. He's also pretty sure that's what Finan wants. But no matter his own feelings, he also knows Hild, and he saw how closed off she was yesterday at the park when they brought up the possibility of pursuing this. He's anxious to bring it up and break the understanding they have. 

But last night… last night felt different. More intense and meaningful than anything any of them ever experienced. He can't erase the memory of Hild, head thrown back and lost under the attention of him and Finan, begging them to never stop. Can you hold someone accountable for what they say during a soul-shattering orgasm? Probably not. But can you get a soul-shattering orgasm with just anyone? Uhtred thinks his balls are bruised from coming so hard last night between Hild and Finan. The sexual chemistry, the quiet understanding, the pure pleasure they have by just existing together, that's not something you find easily. Until now, Uhtred never recognized what he had but now that he's tasted it, walking away from it felt impossible.

"I can hear you think all the way from here." Finan kisses the top of Uhtred's head, "Don't hurt yourself," Finan teases. Uhtred snorts but shrugs instead of answering, uncertain how to voice all the thoughts going through his mind. 

"I hope I haven't read this wrong, Uhtred, and if I did, please tell me to stop making an ass of myself." Finan starts talking, his tone so low it feels like a secret, his voice wavering with nerves. "I'm so glad we came here, and I never thought any of  _ this _ would happen, but I couldn't be happier it did." Finan doesn't expand on what  _ this  _ is because they both know what it is. Finan takes a big breath and continues, voice a bit more firm now that Uhtred hasn't pushed him away. "It felt right and easy, it felt like this was what I was supposed to do all along. And I don't want it to stop because we're going back ho-" 

Uhtred interrupts Finan by kissing him, unable to contain himself. His heart feels like it's trying to beat its way out of his chest, and the world seems brighter than ever. "Yes!" They are both smiling now, and the kiss is more teeth than anything.

"We might need to convince Hild. She's a skittish lady convinced work is the only thing she has time for. But this week and last night, it's impossible she doesn't feel it too." Uhtred nods; that will be the real challenge. He and Finan are both romantic at heart, but Hild is just in her own world. But no matter how good and happy he is right now, something feels missing. Having Finan confirming what he thought himself comforts him and gives him hope. Maybe they can make this work. 

"We need to talk to her this morning. I will not survive a plane ride sitting beside her without knowing where we stand."

Finan agrees and pats his bum playfully. "Let's go find her."

They alternate in the shower quickly and go down for breakfast, where they find Hild finishing breakfast with Osferth and Eadith. She has an empty bowl in front of her as she peels an orange and sips her coffee. She's gorgeous, her hair is still damp from the shower and pulled back in a low ponytail, wearing loose loungewear, and she never looked better in his eyes. Until she smiles back at them, and Uhtred watches as her smile never reaches her eyes. He knows right then and there that he was right to not want to leave the bed this morning. As much as he recognized the eyes Finan gave him when he woke up, he recognizes this smile.

Uhtred feels like the world stops spinning on its axis, and he can't do anything to fix it. Instead, he watches, in an almost detached way, Finan walk up to her completely unaware as he bends down behind her to steal a sip of her coffee, his other hand on her shoulder squeezing affectionately. Her shoulders are tight, and she doesn't lean into Finan like she usually would or look at him with the warmth she had recently. 

"Are you guys ready to go? We have to leave in an hour," Hild asks, turning around and moving Finan's hand in the same movement. Finan doesn't seem all that phased by the cold shoulder, but as she points to the hallway behind them where Uhtred now notices all of her bags are stored, Finan brow furrows.

"We haven't finished our bags yet. I was hoping for some help if you have some time?" Finan answers, and he sounds so careful. Uhtred wants to walk up to him to support him, the realization coming to what Uhtred has already figured out. She's out, she won't come upstairs, and they won't talk with her today. 

He feels enraged for a moment, ugly anger filling him and his thoughts. He hasn't even said good morning yet, but now, he refuses to. It must be nice to fit all your emotions in tiny boxes buried inside and ignore them like Hild can do. 

He turns to Finan, interrupting Hild's poor excuses for helping out Ellie. "Let's grab something and eat upstairs while we pack. I'll help you out since Hild is busy." It may be petty, but he can't bring himself to look at her. She never promised anything to him, but Uhtred is hurt none the less, and he needs to get a grip on himself before facing her. 


	5. Chapter 5

They've been back home for a week, and Finan still feels like he's entered some weird alternate universe ever since the last morning of their vacation. It's been easier to pretend things are _normal_ during the _day,_ whatever normal means, because he's distracted by work and the new project the firm picked up. However, the evenings feel awkward, a little tense even, and he's not sure how to fix it. If they _can_ fix it. Tonight is no exception. Finan is sprawled over his couch, watching a football match while Uhtred is cooking, which always means something terrible and overly healthy. Still, even that isn't as bad as the excessively distant vibes Hild is emanating off of her. 

Uhtred's voice still plays in Finan's mind, like a constant loop when they stood in Finan's bedroom of the villa, and Uhtred had confirmed to him Hild was  _ out.  _ He'd argued with Uhtred that she was just scared, nervous about changing a dynamic they'd known for so long. Uhtred had told him to drop it, that there wasn't going to be an opportunity to change her mind, and if they valued her in their life, they needed to obey her wishes. Whatever they'd had, no matter how much they wanted it, was over. 

It irritates Finan that Uhtred had been right. They've seen Hild a handful of times since returning from vacation, but Finan knows he does not imagine the distance she's put between them. It's as if Finan can feel her second guess everything she does. The words she uses when talking, the questions she asks or doesn't ask, even the way she holds her body around them feels different and strange. It makes Finan's chest ache. 

"Dinner's ready," Uhtred calls from the kitchen, and Finan heaves himself up from the couch, offering his hand to Hild, who is sitting in the slingback chair reading a thick history book with a highlighter in hand. She pauses for a moment, looking up at him, and he can't quite read her. She does accept his hand and lets him pull her into a standing position, but the easy attitude they'd used to share is gone. It's the closest their bodies have been since Hungary, and Finan motions for her to go ahead of him, his hand reaching out to touch her lower back, but she's already gone, speeding to the table in the kitchen to sit down next to Uhtred. Finan gives his hand a little shake, flexes the muscles in it. He wonders briefly if this is what it is like to lose a limb. To feel it, painfully and acutely, even when it's no longer there. 

Usually, at dinners where Uhtred cooks, Hild and Finan take great pleasure in teasing Uhtred mercilessly about the cauliflower rice and tofu cutlets he dared serve them. Still, Finan doesn't have the heart for teasing tonight. He just dumps a bunch of barbecue sauce on the cutlets, hoping that if he drowns them in the sauce, they'll be more palatable. 

"Do you guys want to watch The Office tonight?" Finan asks as they've finished up what is perhaps their most polite and quiet meal to date. "I have a bunch of episodes queued up." 

Just as Uhtred says, "Sure." Hild responds with, "Sorry, I can't." They both look at her, confused for a moment. "I have a lot of marking to catch up on," she explains, though her gaze doesn't quite meet either of theirs. 

"Just go grab it and bring it up here. It's going to take me at least 20 minutes to clean the pan that Uhtred has all but ruined cooking these cutlets." Hild's condo is several floors below Finan's in the same building. Finan can't count the amount of time they climbed up and down the stairs in the lobby to bring stuff back and forth between their apartments. 

"I have to call my mother. It's been a while." Finan's jaw clenches, and he tries hard not to show his irritation at what he knows are blatant excuses. 

Uhtred hums, "How is Susan doing?" His question seems to startle Hild, and shrugs, stumbling over her words, which is the most un-Hild-like thing so far. They've all grown close to Hild's mother, a sweet and overly talkative woman. Half of Hild's phone calls with her ends up on speakerphone with Finan and Uhtred interjecting opinions to their conversation. "She's doing fine," she says finally, getting up to clear her plate, grabbing Uhtred and Finan's as she takes them over to the counter. "I just need to talk about some girl stuff, so I should get going." She gives them a small smile, and the door closes behind her before Finan can actually register she was leaving. They sit at the table for a moment, staring at each other, trying to decipher what's just happened between them. 

"What  _ girl stuff? _ " Finan asks Uhtred incredulously when he finally finds his voice again. "I have her goddamn period app on my phone." 

Uhtred sighs, running his hands through his hair, leaning his forehead on his arms on the dining room table. "I don't know." 

"Let's leave the dishes," Finan says, standing up from the table. He needs to clear his head. "Let's just watch the last of the game." Uhtred agrees, and they move to the couch. Finan finds he's not entirely interested in the football match as he is watching Uhtred watch the game. Uhtred's pulled his hair into a haphazard bun, and part of it is already falling out of the hair tie. Finan's fingers itch to touch Uhtred, to tuck the strand of hair behind his ear, and he moves to lean forward just as Uhtred turns to face him, his eyes almost glossy. 

"I think we made a mistake in Hungary." 

"Uhtred…" 

"Did you see her tonight? She's not okay! Everything is weird!" Uhtred's voice starts to get frantic, and Finan reaches out to put his hands on Uhtred's face. 

"Hey. Hey. Calm down." Finan says, and he pulls Uhtred into his arms, hugging him tight, his own body relaxing slightly when Uhtred hugs him back. "I don't think it was a mistake." He pulls back slightly to gauge Uhtred's reaction. "Look at all of us for the past couple of years, a bunch of useless relationships. We were all stuck in this weird holding pattern. And Hild wouldn't be fighting back this hard for something she doesn't care about." 

"Finan…" Uhtred sighs, resting his forehead against Finan's shoulder. "I want to believe you."

Finan cups his hand around Uhtred's jaw, tilting his head up to look at Finan. "Do  _ you _ think it was a mistake? Because I don't think it was one." 

Uhtred sighs, taking his time to respond and Finan has never felt more tortured in his life while he waits for Uhtred to answer. "No," Uhtred says finally, his voice softer and less frantic than before. "I can't see it as a mistake, even with the mess we created." 

Finan nods, "Maybe she just needs time. You know how she is with change. Remember when the organic store closed by your place, and she went into a panic about being able to find that exact brand of matcha tea she liked so much? She still talks about it, and it's been four years." 

Uhtred laughs. "Fair point. But upending our entire friendship is a bit more traumatic than changing the brand of organic tea," making Finan chuckle softly along with him. 

"Just because she's not on board right now doesn't mean that...we can't...you know…" Finan finds himself nervous in a way he's never been around Uhtred. It's not a bad feeling, almost more of a hopeful giddiness if he's honest, because Uhtred is nodding, and Finan pulls him closer, their foreheads pressing against one another. "I don't think I can let you go," Finan whispers. 

"Me, either," Uhtred replies. "I don't  _ want  _ to let you go."

Finan's heart is aching. On the one hand, the missing piece of Hild between them is a weight on him, but hearing Uhtred doesn't want to let Finan go makes him so fucking happy he can barely breathe. "I want to kiss you," he says, and Uhtred's mouth beats him to it, Uhtred's lips pressing demandingly against Finan's as he kisses him. Finan has lost count of how many times he's kissed Uhtred now, but kissing him here in his condo, in the midst of their  _ life _ , and not some woozy concept like a vacation, feels like starting over and continuing at the very same time. 

"Do you know how often I wanted to touch you in the past week?" Uhtred asks through their kiss, and it's like a barrier falls between them, Uhtred's hands showing him all the touches he missed out on, almost in a frenzy. His hands run down his back, squeeze his thighs, tickle his navel through his shirt, deft fingers pull on his hair. It feels as if Uhtred is everywhere, overwhelming Finan's senses. Their kiss grows more heated, in a slick slide of tongues and bitten lips, until it feels like it's not enough, and Uhtred presses Finan back against the couch. 

Finan likes this new assertive and bold Uhtred, taking without asking and placing Finan how he wants him under him. Uhtred straddles his laps, grinding his dick against Finan's and pushing him back against the couch. They rid themselves of their shirts, and Finan thinks he's burning when he finally feels the smooth skin of Uhtred against his own, and he can't hold back a curse. Uhtred smiles against his lips but trails off to his neck, biting playfully at his shoulders. Finan loves the feel of Uhtred's stubble rubbing against him. He grabs Uhtred's butt, holding him tightly while grinding against him more forcefully. Finan reaches up to pull the hair tie out of Uhtred's hair, his hand tangling in it as he draws Uhtred's head back to bite and lick and kiss at Uhtred's neck in return. He wants to wreck him. 

Uhtred pushes him and back and stares straight in his eyes, "You should take me to your bed." 

"If you think I'm going to carry you, you're sadly mistaken." 

Uhtred laughs and climbs off of Finan, the sexual tension dropping down a notch as he helps Finan up, the both of them readjusting themself in their pants. Before Uhtred can turn around and lead him to the bedroom, Finan pulls him back against him and kiss him more chastely, just wanting to feel, make sure it's real. 

"Are you sure?" Ask Uhtred, pulling back from his embrace, serious looking. "Because I can't lose you again, this past week was excruciating" Finan nods, ready to swear up and down, but Uhtred adds, "it still is, without Hild."

"God, I know," Finan kisses his shoulder and squeezes his hand, comfortingly, "You won't lose me. Ever." It feels good to promise so much, and yet it rings half empty. Uhtred seems satisfied because he pulls him back toward the bedroom. 

They fall onto the bed as they wiggle out of their jeans and end up lying facing each other. The sudden feeling of earlier is gone, leaving them more relaxed and exploratory. They touch each other slowly, hands running along arms, over their chests. They kiss again, and hands sneak down to feel them through their boxer briefs. Uhtred pushes them off and starts stroking Finan in his big hand, pulling shivers and moans out of him in no time. 

"Hey, hey, let's slow down. I don't want to come like this." Finan is getting too worked up, but a handjob is not what he wants tonight. Uhtred smiles against his lips, squeezing his crown before he lets him go. 

"And how are you planning on coming, Finan?" Uhtred whispers against the shell of his ear. 

Finan sits up, gloriously naked, and his dick red and wet at the tip on display. Uhtred can't look away as he licks his lips, glossy eyes. 

"I want to come with you in me if that's okay?" That does it because Uhtred's eyes snap back to Finan's face, mouth slack, and rosy cheeks. 

"Yes! Whatever you want," Finan thinks he might see stars in Uhtred's eyes at the prospect. 

Finan reaches behind him, pulling his muscles taut to grab the lube and a condom from his night side table. He lay down on his back, Uhtred crawling between his open legs. Uhtred blows hot air on his thighs, peppering Finan skin with kisses and soft bites. He leans over and breaches Finan with a slick finger, long and thick, making Finan hold his breath at the burning but welcome sensation. It's been so long since Finan has done this. 

Finan pushes back against the digit, moaning low in his throat when the burning phases out and leaves instead that heady tingling pleasure. Uhtred adds a second finger, then a third, distracting him with his tongue lapping at his dick. 

"How can you be so good, Uhtred," he wants to beg for the finger to be replaced by Uhtred's cock, but for a rare time, words are failing him. 

Uhtred leans back on his heels, drawing back from Finan and roll a condom on before laying back on top of Finan. He kneels closer to Finan, his knees firmly against his open hips. He drags his cock on Finan's ass, making him groan and squirm under the attention until he finally pushes against his entrance. 

Finan closes his eyes, the uncomfortable stretch of Uhtred inside him catching his breath, but mostly what this together means for him. His heart is beating wildly, and he grabs at Uhtred anywhere he can reach, afraid that this isn't real, and he'll wake up alone without either him or Hild by his side. Uhtred kisses against his closed eyelid and drags his lips to his mouth, breathing in with him while he seats himself to the hilt. 

Uhtred swears under his breath and starts moving, slow roll of his hips, dragging out the movement at a leisurely pace. "I want to feel you when I walk later tonight, Uhtred. I want my legs to burn and my throat to be covered in bites. I want you wild while you fuck me into the mattress. Stop holding back." Finan ordered him, his hands pulling at Uhtred's, slamming him into his body. 

Uhtred, spurred on by the filth poured into his ears, picks up the pace. He buries himself deeper into Finan, punching moans out of him between every breath. "Fuck."

Finan takes hold of his dick, angry red and leaking. He's so close already, only a few pulls, and he goes over the edge, painting his stomach and his fingers with long ropes of come. Uhtred releases his leg and hides his nose in Finan's throat, his hips losing his rhythm before he follows suit, biting viciously at Finan's collarbone to swallow his cries. 

It's perfect and exactly what both of them needed. Finan is covered in a thin layer of sweat, so is Uhtred. And the sticky mess is slowly cooling on his skin. He gets up, a delicious burn in his legs like he begged for, and has a quick shower. Uhtred joins him and lathers the soap over him, with a familiarity they shouldn't have already but that Finan welcomes. 

The climb back in bed together, Uhtred spooning Finan. He breathes on his neck and has a hand petting his stomach possessively. If only he could have Hild on his other side, it would be the only thing to make this perfect. He's satiated and sleepy, limbs loose and relaxed, yet his arms feel empty. 

*** * ***

Uhtred gently squeezes tomatoes from the grocery store display and places six in his cart before shaking his head and putting four back, keeping only two. Teddy and Stiorra are still in Denmark, and Hild has been doing a great job avoiding him and Finan lately. Chances are only Finan will help him eat those this week, and it's a depressing thought. It hurts him that Hild is avoiding him -  _ them _ \- so actively. Since she left Finan's condo three days ago, right before him and Finan decided to give it a go at being  _ together _ , he barely received a dozen words from her. Considering he can't remember when that has happened before in the last fifteen years, it takes dedication on her part to avoid him as much as she does. 

He sighs and walks further down the produce aisle, and starts prodding melons. On Friday afternoon, the day after her fatidic exit, Hild texted Finan to say, " _ Drinks with the faculty, won't make it to dinner," _ and around 11:00pm, just before they started panicking, she texted Uhtred, "Don't _ wait up." _ No kisses. No emojis. No goodnight. 

Uhtred feels like he's been dumped. Which is both childish and stupid as nobody has been dumped. From the very beginning of their "adventure" on vacation, Hild always made it abundantly clear she wasn't interested in a long term commitment with them. Or anyone really, for god's sake. Uhtred had even coached her multiple times to get out of sticky situations with partners that didn't want to let her go once she was over it. Hild's motto is how she's already married to her job, and her research papers and students are her kids. But Uhtred still feels rejected because no matter the words coming out of her mouth, he still feels hurt. This vacation has made him realize that their friendship has been more than a friendship. It's been this strange platonic relationship since Gisela left for Denmark, but it's been comfortable and easy. And now that's gone. 

Uhtred places a bag of green apples in his cart when his phone dings, and he can't help it; his heart almost skips a beat or two. He can't decide it's because he wants it to be Hild finally reaching out, Finan, to check on him or his kids to say they miss him. In the end, when he looks down at his phone, it's Finan asking him to buy more Pine-Sol, which is a very innocent text message yet so domestic it still makes him smile fondly at his phone. 

It's an oddly specific message, and it probably means Finan is one of his cleaning moods. That's highly disappointing. Uhtred and Finan had sex three days ago, just the two of them, and it still makes Uhtred blush just thinking about it. He feels like a horny teenager since he's sporting a semi most of the day just thinking about Finan. He was they could spend the afternoon in bed, but Finan will probably force him to spring clean something utterly useless like the top of the kitchen cabinets or the gutters before Uhtred is allowed to lay a hand on him. Who cares about the top of the kitchen cabinets? 

" _ Is that really necessary? Can I convince you to find something else to occupy ourselves instead of cleaning? _ " Uhtred ponders sending an aubergine emoji for a few seconds, but he decides against it because he's not sure a thirty-something-year-old can use an aubergine emoji instead of spelling out  _ I-want-your-dick _ . 

He does a quick check of his surroundings, suddenly nervous that the tired-looking stock boy placing green beans in the refrigerator knows what he's up to. He never flirted via text before (the mess with Skade definitely doesn't count), and this definitely feels like flirting. He quickly walks away, pocketing his phone and reminding himself he's an adult, and he is more than allowed to sext all he wants. 

He's standing at the charcuterie counter, trying to remember if Finan likes ham or turkey better. Before today he wouldn't have thought twice to take his phone out to call Hild and ask her - Because Finan will tell him not to bother, as usual - but he catches himself before dialing. Hild is at her mom's for the weekend, and it's clear she wants space. Finan has replied to him, however, and he clearly doesn't have the same concern about emoji flirting. Not only has Finan sent an aubergine, but he also followed the phallic vegetable by multiple water droplets.  _ Fuck _ . Maybe he should speed this up, it's making him feel a bit better, despite the whole Hild situation, and for the first time today, he feels close to normal. 

He wraps up the grocery shopping faster, making a few unusual food choices, but for once, he's childless, and Finan will be overjoyed by the multiple bags of potato chips he got for him. He buys lunch on the way home, to his house this time, and when he parks, he hopes he can cash in those the emoji promises. 

Sadly it doesn't quite work out in his favor. Finan is clearly in cleaning mode and has a list of things he wants to get done, but he does concede slightly when Uhtred gives him his best puppy eyes and pulls Uhtred in for a kiss. One kiss turns into two, and then Uhtred has his hand pushing down into Finan's sweatpants just to feel him, and Finan does the same. And as Uhtred is ready to forget lunch and drop to his knees, Finan breaks their kisses with a soft laugh and pushes Uhtred toward the laundry room. There are drapes to be washed while Finan cleans the windows.

"Finan, this is my own house, and I don't care about clean drapes," Uhtred says, but it doesn't work at all on the Irishman. It only gets him a slap on the butt and pushed back toward the laundry room. He sighs but pulls a chair toward the living room window and starts unhooking the fabric from the pole.

"I only sleep in bedrooms with clean drapes and sparkling windows. Should I go?" asks Finan with shiny eyes.

"I know this isn't true. You never cleaned your windows at the condo," protests Uhtred, almost whining, as he moves to the dining room. 

"I guess you'll have to wait and see what happens tonight, then, won't you?" Uhtred was right, and Finan is in his weird cleaning mood. No lazy Sunday followed by hot sex then.

In the end, not only does Uhtred do laundry, but he's also put to work on vacuuming the house and cleaning out the garden beds in the yard. Despite not wanting to spend so much time  _ apart _ from Finan, it feels blissfully right to work with him in this home. It feels like being a  _ family _ . 

He can see Finan in every corner of the house. They repainted the main floor in pale grey three years ago, and they spent a full week stripping and staining the wood floor last spring. Finan is in half the photos on the walls, and the throw blanket on the couch is his because he is beyond particular about the fabric he likes to bury himself in to watch tv. It feels like theirs. In the same breath, he could say the same for Hild. Being in the garden reminds him of how she forced him to update the outside furniture, complaining that for such a big space, he was wasting it all. She was right. The rattan is the most used furniture in the summer now. She's the one caring for the irises in the garden bed every year, and she's the one who decided to repaint the house in grey anyway. She's as ingrained in this house as he is, as Finan is. It isn't easy to just push the thought of her out of his head. It's why all of this hurts so much. Even if he should have known better. 

Just as the sun is setting, Uhtred finally pulls the last of the weeds out and puts it all in the compost pile. He comes inside to Finan, pulling out a piping hot lasagna from the oven. His belly grumbles at the delicious scent of pasta in the kitchen, and he gets them each a beer while Finan dishes out the food. They eat in silence, watching the house shining because it's rarely this clean. The food is fantastic, and Uhtred will never tire of Finan cooking. 

"Have you heard from Hild today?" Uhtred asks, trying to be casual. "I thought she was coming back for dinner tonight."

"Yeah, she texted she was going to stay late at Susan's with Ellie," replies Finan, and Uhtred can detect the regret in his voice. He reaches over to touch Finan's hand. It's been hard on them both, this Hild shaped hole in their life.

"Hmm." Uhtred hums, trying hard to stop second-guessing the conflicting emotions around this whole situation.

"You know she's just too stubborn for her own good. For our own good too," Finan sighs. "She just refuses to see what's in front of her, and to let go of the iron fist control she keeps on her emotions and on her life, she'll come around." 

Finan sounds too hopeful to really reassure Uhtred, but he appreciates the effort. Uhtred is starting to think they are doomed, that this relationship between them will not be able to last without Hild, but he's keeping this one to himself. Instead, he starts cleaning up their dishes. 

He doesn't even have half the dishwasher full when a warm hand snakes under his t-shirt and slides from his back to his abs, playing gently with the sparse hair below his navel. 

"Can I interest you in a different activity?" Finan whispers in his ear and nips at his neck, tongue tasting his skin. 

Uhtred feels the air rush out of his lungs, and he's almost dizzy with want. Uhtred turns off the tap and turns around to grab at Finan's waist, wet hand and all, to tug him closer, his mouth hungry to taste him. "I recall I was promised a _reward_ while I was out today, time to pay up." His hand wanders down to Finan's shorts and slips his fingers under the waistband to grab at his ass. Finan groans and pulls him toward the bedroom.

"Let's see if we can get that taken care of."

*** * ***

Hild starts the car and backs out of the driveway at Ellie's apartment complex. She's just dropped her off at her place after they both spent the weekend with their mother. It was as close to a nightmare as it could have been. Mom asked about fourteen different times where Finan and Uhtred were, why they didn't come over, why she didn't call or text them all day, why she refused to take the sugar-free cookies mom had baked for Uhtred. Ellie had looked down right self-righteous half of the time, although she had declined to comment at the more and more evasive answers Hild provided. In the end, when Ellie asked to leave early, Hild jumped on the occasion and fled her mother's house. 

However, alone in her car, she feels a little (a lot) guilty on her way to back to town. She misses Finan and Uhtred. She's barely seen them the past two weeks, and all her brain can focus on is how she wants to be back home with them, back in their routine. On Friday, Hild had received word that she'd been offered the department head position she applied to months ago. Hild never even told the boys because she couldn't text that news, but at the same time, she couldn't bring herself to go see them in person. Instead, she hid at her mom's—what a mess. 

The more she thinks about it, the more she thinks she's simply her worst enemy and needs to stop making this harder than it should be.  _ Stop fucking around,  _ she chastises herself, and on a whim, she turns left toward Uhtred's place instead of right toward her condo. It's Sunday, so she knows they'll both be at his house, where she would have been with them if she wasn't so damn stubborn. She texted earlier she would see them on Monday, but hopefully, they'll be happy to see her early. Last month she wouldn't have thought twice about changing her plans at the last minute. Her instinct seems right because when she parks on the quiet street in front of Uhtred's cottage, Finan's oversized SUV is parked in the driveway next to Uhtred's Prius. 

She stops the car, walks the pebbled path leading up to the door, and pushes in like usual. S _ top feeling so out of it, for god's sake.  _ "Hello? I changed my mind and got home early. I hope you guys won't mind?" She calls from the entryway, removing her shoes before stepping further in. It smells like a weird mix of cleaning products and lasagna, and the place looks spotless. 

Uhtred comes out of the bathroom in sweatpants and bare chest, flushed and a bit frazzled. He walks to her and kisses her brow quickly, and gives her a hug. "Hey! I'm glad you decided to pass by." He smells good, sweaty, and warm. She fights herself to not bury her nose in his skin. Instead, she takes a step back. "Did you eat dinner yet? Finan made lasagna."

"Thank god it's Finan's," she teases. "What's up with the cleaning frenzy? Everything looks almost sterile." She walks to the kitchen and inhales deeply above the lasagna. It looks and smells heavenly. 

"Finan forced me to clean while the kids are away. I'm just finishing up on washing the curtain, and we're done."

Hild serves herself a piece of lasagna, and it's still hot enough that she can dig in right away while Uhtred rounds the counter and pours her a glass of wine from the fridge. "Here you go," he says, handing her a generous glass almost filled to the brim. She smiles and murmurs a quick "thanks" before she jumps on the counter, sitting crossed leg with her plate on her lap. 

Uhtred reclines his hips against the counter by the sink and grabs a beer bottle left on the counter before giving it a tentative sip and grimacing. "How are Susan and Ellie?" he asks, dumping the rest of the flat beer in the sink and grabs another one from the fridge while Hild only hums around her mouthful in what she hopes convey they are doing good. 

"Sihtric was asking about Ellie last week, and I think they met up for a drink after work one night."

"Ellie refused to say anything about Sihtric even though we spent hours in a car together," Hild shrugs. "Either it didn't work out, or she's trying to figure it out."

She turns to look down the hall when she hears a door open and close, a second before Finan strolls in. He's fresh out of the shower, still flushed by the scorching hot water and fine droplets clinging to his hair. He drops a quick peck on her cheek, millimeters from the corner of her mouth. "Good to you, Hild."

She shrugs, unsure how to say she was dumb and refused to face them because they had sex for a week. Instead, she swallows the hot cheese and saucy pasta and pointing to her plate, "This is so good!"

Finan can never take a compliment all that well, his face grimacing into a fierce smug. "It's innate, what can I say," he jokes. 

Hills shakes her head and watches him walk to the cutlery drawer to grab a fork before walking back to the lasagna pan and digging for seconds. Hild is mulling over how she can break the news, celebrate her new job with her two best friends, but instead of saying anything, she observes them interact from afar. 

They look casual and relaxed, Finan dragging a knuckle down Uhtred's back, Uhtred stealing Finan's fork for a bite himself. Laughing when Finan fights him for the crispy corner, and instead, Finan steals his beer and drinks half of it in one massive gulp. They look like they live in each other's pocket, a level of intimacy they flirted with but that they never achieved. No matter the denial Hild has been in this past week or so, she can admit it wasn't like this before. 

She shakes her head and wills herself to not get lost in her own head over things she imagines. A shirtless Uhtred is simply distracting her. It bothers her, she wants to put her mouth back on him, and she can barely picture anything else the want is so strong. Thank god Finan is wearing a shirt, not that it hinders her from raking her eyes on him. She realizes she's staring, and she looks up, her eyes settling on the back of his neck. Which is red, like a bug bite. 

"What's this?" Before she registers what happened, she's down from the counter and walking up to Finan, tugging on his collar. Dread dawns on her, sinking at the bottom of her belly, warm and hot. She swipes her index on what looks suspiciously like a hickey. When Uhtred says her name, she turns around and almost jumps out of her skin. The flush on his neck is not from the summer heat, but a beard burn beginning to fade away.

Suddenly she feels lost and betrayed, like they went behind her back. "Hild," Finan touches her hip to get her attention. 

She only half hears him jumble through an explanation of guilt and want, but she cuts him off, "We  _ all  _ agreed it was over, Finan. You guys went behind my back." Her voice doesn't crack, but it's a near thing. 

"No! It's not behind your back. We haven't seen you since Thursday, since the night it happened. We were always going to bring it up. We wouldn't keep anything from you. You know we wouldn't."

Hild crosses her trembling arms and can't calm herself down.  _ They had agreed. _

Uhtred, who has been silent up until then, clears his throat. "You can't be mad Hild, you rejected us, and you were very clear on how you don't want a relationship with us. It doesn't mean  _ we _ don't want it or that we will just wait, being miserable until you might come around." When Uhtred stops talking, Finan closes his eyes and sigh, looking apologetic to Hild. Hild can't process what's happening, what Uhtred is implying. She feels like she was hit in the stomach, nauseous, and in pain. 

Hild opens her mouth to defend her decision, convince them they can't do this to her, it's unfair, but nothing comes out. Instead, she holds her hand up to Finan as he starts talking, trying to apologize on Uhtred's behalf. What hurts the most is that Hild knows Uhtred is right, but now that it's out in the open, now that it's real, it hurts her more than she cares to admit. 

"I need some air." She can't stay, so she grabs her keys on the counter and flees to the door. Her feelings are all over the place. She feels defeated and like she wants to cry, but she's the one who walked away, the one who doesn't have the time for them. She's bewildered. She turns on the car and drives to her empty apartment, filled with regret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peeks through fingers* don't hate us....we promise it's worth it.


	6. Chapter 6

Three days after the fiasco of Hild walking into Uhtred's house to find them together, Finan still can't get over the ache in his chest. He feels like they cheated on Hild, and even though technically it's not true, he knows they could have gone about it differently. 

He keeps replaying the last few days in his head, from when they left the villa to last Sunday when Hild walked out. He knows she likes sticking her head in the sand as soon as her heart is involved and prefers hiding behind her work. Her books won't argue back or demand anything she isn't willing to give. She's comfortable with the rules she has to follow at school. Everything is so black and white. Hild excels at working perfectly on the line and never between them. 

What is even more frustrating to Finan is that it's not like they don't let her set parameters. It's been the three of them, albeit in a different configuration, for years, and now she's pretending like they're asking for something she hasn't already given. It would force her to acknowledge she's already changed her neat little life to include them in. Nobody forced her to go to ballet classes with Stiorra. Hild is the one who convinced Uhtred to sign her up. Hild may be one of the smartest and stubborn women Finan knows, which is also why he knows they fucked up. They forced her to jump when she was barely used to standing. 

Finan doesn't tell Uhtred, but he's going to try and fix this shit. He can't stand feeling like this. He can't stand seeing Uhtred like this. And Hild has never needed time to process things, at least never more than a few days. Finan knows the more time and distance they put between them, the more it will get tangled. 

He finishes work on time, for once, and sneaks into Uhtred's office, closing the door to kiss him goodbye while he's talking on the phone before running out of the building. They're not quite ready to acknowledge this is a relationship to everyone when they are in the middle of an implosion. 

Hild doesn't have class on Wednesday, and usually, she spends the day prepping for her classes for the next day or researching. If it's meant to be, he will find her scribbling away at the kitchen table, and if not… well, Finan doesn't want to go there. He stops on the way to get a tea for himself and a chai latte for Hild. He needs something to occupy his hands, and even though he won't ever say it aloud, she might be more lenient on him if he bribes her.

He hesitates at the door of her condo because they don't usually knock, and they just barge in, but either way feels wrong. In the end, he opts for knocking and walking in before she can come to the door. 

Hild is sitting at her kitchen table, just like he pictured her, with three neat piles of paper in front of her, grading students. She's in yoga pants and a loose tank top, which drives Finan mad with desire. She looks good enough to eat and so damn cozy. Now he knows what she feels like, under his hands, he itches to touch her and bury his nose in her neck. But he can't—stubborn mad woman. 

A month ago, he would have coaxed her to bring her papers on the couch so they could cuddle while he napped. She'd have one hand in his hair, petting him and the other one grading with her red pen. Even though he wants so much more now and he'd miss it, he'll settle for anything, just for the chance to go back to their easy friendship instead of whatever this is. 

Hild looks at him, not smiling but not frowning either, and as the silence stretches, with his fingers burning on the coffee paper cups, he gets more and more uncomfortable, unable to break the strange stillness between them. 

Finan shrugs his shoulders, like that could shake this feeling and clear his throat, not that it makes anything better, but she arches an eyebrow at him. Hild's not willing to let him get away with this easily. Finan understands that loud and clear. He feels like a boy standing in front of his teacher, which, all things considered, is pretty close to reality. He's had many wet dreams about Hild being his stern, sexy teacher, but none of them included apologies over a devastating break up of a relationship that doesn't really exist. Sigh. 

"Hi," Finan says finally, holding up the cups and slowly walking to the table, setting them down in an empty spot as he pulls up a chair. "I'm trying to buy back your affection. It's a chai latte," he says. When he gets no reaction, he pushes it closer to her "with oat milk," still nothing, he moves it ever so closer, "Extra foamy." Ah! He finally sees the beginning of a smile at the corner of her mouth. "It's a bribe, but it's tasty, I swear."

She sighs, shaking her head at him, but she takes the coffee and removes the cap before taking a small sip. Finan takes that as a win no matter how fleeting her smile is.

He sips his own drink, way too hot and over-steeped because he forgot to take the bag out, but he's not moving from that chair until he finally manages to say a word. Not that his plan included an actual speech. Besides deciding to drive over here and beg Hild to make up with them, he has no idea how to proceed. Uhtred should be here with him. But Uhtred is hurt, even more, hurt than Finan, and Finan's in so much pain he feels like crying when he thinks about it too much. He thought he had found his people, and Hild deciding to distance herself, even after they agreed to go back to not fooling around, is what hurts. Finan doesn't need to eat her pussy to be happy, but he does need her in his life. He wants to hold her hand and tell her about his day, even though he knows she couldn't care less about concrete reinforcement, just like he couldn't care less when she goes on a rant about Alfred The Great. But having her there, humming and nodding at his description of formwork, is what makes it so good. They are so good for each other, and he's felt that void keenly. Uhtred is excellent, he's so in love with that man, but they don't feel whole. 

He drums his finger on the table, half from nervousness and half from habit. He watches her pick up her pen, noting something in the margin of the paper in front of her. It makes him frustrated that she doesn't even look affected when he's driving himself crazy over all of this. She seems cold and almost formal, which he never thought someone in a tank top and yoga pants could be. He knows it's wrong, but he wants a reaction out of her. He wants her spitting with anger and yelling at him. He wants her to tell him why he's an asshole for what they did, instead of him being an asshole looking for a fight. He realizes he's drumming too loudly, and he fidgets too much on his chair, but the silence is deafening, strangling, and he needs her to say something, anything. Anything at all. 

"You just stopped being there, Hild. You walked out." Accusations never work great with Hild, but it's what he has had on the tip of his tongue for the past week, and he can't keep it in. "I thought we had been through too much for you to just walk out without an explanation!" This was a bad idea, not having Uhtred here to rein him in. He's in emotional overload now. "You're mad that Uhtred and I want to be in a relationship? That's not fair! You called it quits, and you can't force us to stop when it doesn't fit your own expectation!" The words burst out of him, and while they aren't untrue, he regrets them. 

"Wow. Okay," Hild says, taking a sip of her drink. She turns towards him and looks at Finan with a look he can't quite read, which makes him even angrier at himself because he's always able to read her. He's so messed up inside, he doesn't know what feels real anymore. "First, I never said you couldn't be in a relationship. What I said was that  _ I _ couldn't be. You know how important my work is to me, but just as important is that I don't feel like I need to compromise that work for anyone." 

"Could have fooled me," Finan snaps. He crosses his arms, then uncrosses them, then crosses them again. Fuck. He hates how agitated he feels. 

"I mean, I was a little surprised, though I probably shouldn't have been. I mean, I pushed the two of you together. I think I just didn't realize at the time how much it might change our dynamic." She takes another sip of her drink, but she's still so calm and collected in her tone Finan's beginning to wonder if she's on drugs. How can she be so blasé about this? "I'd be lying if part of me wasn't jealous, maybe jealous isn't the right word...I guess I'm just apprehensive as things don't feel equal anymore, and I just need time to wrap my head around it." 

"We didn't choose each other over you, you know that, right?" He loses some anger and reaches for her hand. He needs to touch her. He needs her to tether him because he feels desperately farther away from her than before he arrived. 

Hild's eyes avoid his for a moment before she looks at him, sighing. "Finan, I think you still misunderstand me." 

Finan sits back, the warmth of her long gone, replaced with the anger from her words. "Then explain it to me." 

"We've always just been so comfortable with each other, and I never once second-guessed that Uhtred holding my hand or you touching my back ever meant anything but a friendly gesture. What happened in Hungary blurred that line too much. This last week I've been trying to put that line back. I was blindsided by the fact that you have both  _ erased _ the line between the two of you...I just don't know what that means for our friendship and how easy it used to be." 

Finan scoffs, and Hild's face darkens, and he can't say he isn't elated to see a fucking reaction from her, finally. But he can also see the wall closing up between them, and his frustration is too much to back down now. "You don't know what that means for our friendship? We need you in our life. We can't do this without you, Hild. I can't..." Finan looks at her, and there's nothing he is holding back. He's there, his fucking heart open on the table for her. Finan's not above getting down on his knees to beg her. That's how desperate he's feeling. "We're not going to make it without you." 

"So asking for time to figure it out isn't an option?" Hild snaps, standing up and walking to her kitchen. "You're making me out to be some sort of villain for sticking to the terms of our agreement! I'm sorry that you both caught feelings, but I was *very* clear from the beginning." 

"That is horseshit! You think I don't remember that last night in Hungary? I know that wasn't something said in the heat of the moment." 

Something flashes in Hild's eyes, and she turns away from him for a moment to take a breath. They both knew that was the crux of the issue. That she did love them, like they loved her, like they loved each other. Her desperation to keep things as they had always been had now done the very thing she had been scared of - it had ruined their friendship as they'd known it. Finan is about to continue when she turns back around, and whatever was there, whatever she remembered about that night, is gone, and her glare is colder than he's ever seen. 

"Fuck you," she says, and her tone makes Finan feel like he's just been punched in the gut. "I knew it was a mistake, even from that first night in the hot tub. I could see it in Uhtred's eyes, in your face. I  _ knew _ it was going to get fucked up. And here we are, everything is weird and awkward, and I don't know if it's fixable." 

"And our fifteen years of friendship? All our history? You're willing to throw that all away?" Finan thinks his chest might explode, this isn't what he expected to happen, and again he wishes he'd brought Uhtred. Not that it would have been easier or the outcome better, but he wouldn't be alone in it. 

"What do you want me to say, Finan? My life is busy, and my job isn't something I'm going to put second. I can barely comprehend a relationship with one person, let alone two. As for our friendship...I don't know right now. I need time. It's too messy, confusing."

Finan slammed his hand down on the table, not his finest move, especially when he sees Hild jump from where she stood by the sink. "Hild! We are already in your life! Our lives are already so intertwined. We already exist together in whatever way we've made it  _ work _ for us. We basically have  _ children _ together. The only thing we're adding is the parts of ourselves we've been trying to give to other people when it's always been us all along. We're already in a  _ relationship _ , Hild. We're a  _ family _ , and it feels like that's what you're abandoning." 

"I think you should go." 

Finan stands up. He can't look at her as he walks out of the condo, closing the front door behind him. He feels defeated, like he's taken something that was cracked and dropped it out of clumsy hands, watching it shatter on the ground. He finally looks back at the condo when he reaches his truck and realizes he doesn't know how to fix it. Inside, he angrily wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand. He tries to breathe, but all that escapes is a choked sob, the weight of not only his and Uthred's future heavy on his chest but the fact that he might have not only lost the woman he loves, but one of his best friends. 

*** * ***

Friday morning, Hild has her standing coffee date with Ellie at a cafe near Ellie’s work. Hild has a late start to her schedule on Fridays, and last semester they started meeting up for breakfast and coffee once a week. She walks in on autopilot, distracted, and almost runs into one of the servers. Hild’s started counting days from when the vacation ended. It’s been seventeen days. There was a before vacation life and an after vacation life, and Hild can’t reconcile both lives together just yet. Considering how often she replayed the devastating moment when she realized something was going on between them and her fight with Finan, she’s just not ready to move on. She feels a bit robotic, going through the motion of her everyday life, but she doesn’t feel present at all. 

She spots Ellie in the corner, sitting by herself and smiling down at her phone, like a lunatic. At least one of them is happy. Hild does perk up when she spots a croissant and a second cup of coffee on the table. “This is for me?” She asks Ellie as she sits down. 

Hild has time to remove her sweater before Ellie finally, with a slightly dreamy gaze on her face, looks up from her phone. “Oh! Hi! I thought we could share it.” Ellie says, giving Hild a big grin. As much as Hild loves her sister, and she loves her more than anyone, she’s not sure she can stomach the mood attached to that grin. But she gives Ellie her best effort at a returned smile. 

“So…how’s things?” Ellie asks, breaking the croissant in two, crumbs flying everywhere. 

“Things are fine,” Hild replies, taking her half of the pastry without taking a bite. “You?” 

Ellie takes a deep breath and launches into a very intense and dramatic retelling of her latest encounter with her landlord. Something about pests, a noisy neighbour. It’s always hard for Hild to follow along and remember who’s who and who lives where. But she got the gist of it. Things were not great.

“That’s too bad…” Hild says. It feels like the right thing to say, even though she’s not quite sure what Ellie is talking about at this point. Her mind is, once again, circling back to Uhtred and Finan, the revelation of their relationship over lasagna (ruined forever in Hild’s opinion), and her heart-wrenching fight with Finan. 

“What? No, it’s good! Hild, are you evening listening to me?” Ellie asks, and Hild looks up from where she was picking at the croissant to her sister’s face. She gives Ellie a smile that’s so forced Ellie grimaces at the attempt. “Alright. What’s up? What did you do that has you in knots like this?” 

Hild sighs. She’d really never been able to keep secrets from Ellie. That happened when you talked almost every day, even if only by text or a quick call between classes. “I don’t really want to talk about it…” 

“Tough,” Ellie says, taking the pastry out of Hild’s hands and putting it back on the plate. “Spill.” 

Hild’s eyes fill with tears, and she shakes her head slightly. Her mouth pressed into a tight line as she inhales and comes clean with Ellie about everything that’s happened since they returned from Hungary. How they’d had a great time during the vacation, but they’d had an agreement that it would stop after vacation was over. How Uhtred and Finan went behind her back, though it wasn’t really behind her back at all since nothing was going on between them, and then her massive fight with Finan. “...and now everything is so complicated.” Hild sobs, frantically wiping her face with the sleeve of her sweater, trying to not draw attention to herself. The last thing she wants is people seeing her meltdown in the middle of a cafe. 

“Hild…” Ellie begins but pauses and grabs the napkin from the table, reaching over to wipe her face, and Hild just lets her because she’s so in need of a little comfort. “That seems very messy…” Ellie says, and Hild nods because at least Ellie seems to understand. “But you had sex with the two people you’re in love with and yet don’t want to be with for some reason I can’t understand, and now you’re mad they want to be together, without you, even though they’re following your request?”

“It’s not so black and white!” Hild snaps, her annoyance flaring at her sister. “We have over a decade of history in this friendship. We can’t just throw that away over a quick fuck. And besides all of that, I am TOO BUSY to be in a relationship!” 

Ellie sighs and tilts her head, looking at Hild as if she’s not speaking a language Ellie can understand. “Hild, you’re already in a relationship with them.” 

“What? No, I am not.” Hild’s fight with Finan flares, hot and fresh in her mind, his words feeling suddenly more potent when Ellie says them.

“Yes, you are,” Ellie argues, and she crosses her arms as if to prove a point. “I’ve watched the three of you for too many years to count, and maybe it was platonic until three weeks ago, but whether you want to admit or not, they are intimately wrapped in and around your life just like you are to them.” 

Hild exhales deeply. She thought meeting Ellie would make her feel better, but so far, it’s yet to do anything of the sort. “That’s just a long friendship!” 

“It’s not just friendship! I mean, yes, of course, it’s friendship, but it’s more than that, Hild. It’s like a  _ deeper _ level of caring. How many times have you taken Stiorra and Teddy to the dentist? Or when you bought your car and Finan spent days trying to get you the best car insurance rate. Or how Uhtred came over and repainted Mom’s entire basement without you even asking? Maybe it’s me, but none of my friends would do that for me.” 

Hild’s mind whirred as the reality of Ellie’s statement sunk in. Uhtred had even matched the paint for the basement to her Mom’s antique collection of wall clocks. They had discussed paint swatches for days. And of course, Finan would be the one to help her with insurance. He was always reading weird car guides and listening to obscure automotive podcasts. And taking the kids to the dentist didn’t really seem like a favor to Uhtred. That was just what she did. They’d all have rotten teeth if she didn’t make appointments for the five of them. 

_ The five of them! _

Was it like this all along? Had she been too stubborn to notice, even in the midst of her most satisfying orgasms, that she was in love with them? Everything she had feared she couldn’t manage about a relationship, everything outside of the sex, she’d had it all along. It wasn’t going to affect her career in some negative way. It wasn’t going to make her feel like she was torn between having to choose her career over a family. She had already made it work. She had already found a way to have both and to be happy with both. 

“Oh. My. God.”

*** * ***

Saturday mornings no longer feel right without Hild there. It's as if a big Hild hole is standing in the middle of their Saturday routine, so potent Finan can almost feel her absence physically. Finan pushes around his now soggy cornflakes with his spoon and sighs, trying not to re-play his fight with Hild in his head for the thousandth time. It's pathetic. He's pathetic.

"This is delicious," Uhtred says, pointing to his spinach and egg white omelet. "You really should have just agreed to let me make you one. It's at least better than old wet cornflakes." 

The joke feels forced, but Finan appreciates the sentiment, not that he can muster anything but a shrug. Uhtred sighs, reaching over and squeezing Finan's arm.

"I know," Uhtred murmurs.

"I'm sorry," Finan replies softly. "If I hadn't pushed Hild to agree to something she wasn't ready for, she might be here right now." It's not the first time Finan apologizes since last Wednesday, but he can't shake the guilty feeling gripping him, and it's the only thing he can do to try to make it better for his lover.

Uhtred makes a noise in his throat. "Shut up, stop that." He gets up and moves to stand in front of Finan. He palms Finan's jaw in his hand and tips his head back. "I know you were only doing what you thought was right." He leans in to kiss Finan and rub his back comfortingly, but as Finan feels Uhtred's hair tickle his cheek, the sudden noise of a car door slamming in the driveway jolts them both.

A funny feeling, somewhere between hope and dread, squeezes Finan's inside. He refuses to look at Uhtred. He knows he'll see a hopeful look on his face. "Are you expecting anyone?" Finan asks as Uhtred steps away from him, pretending like they both don't hope for someone specifically. "Was Ragnar going to be dropping by?" 

"No…" Uhtred says, and he moves to the door. The door opens before Uhtred opens it, and Hild walks in, her usual white box of bakery pastries in hand like she's done almost every Saturday morning for the last few years. "Uh...hi...Hi!" Uhtred says, stumbling over his words, and Finan is frozen in his chair. She's wearing her hair down, the pale blue sundress fitting to curves he now knows intimately. Hild doesn't look as tired and drained as when he saw her last. She looks good.

"These donuts are a peace offering. A  _ bribe _ even," Hild says, holding up the box. "But also, I wanted to celebrate." 

Both Finan and Uhtred are silent for a beat too long. Finan knows he's afraid to break the silence. He can only imagine Uthred is feeling the same. "Celebrate?"

"I got the job," She musters a tentative smile, fidgeting with the box in her hand, "and I wanted to tell you, but things have been so fucked up lately that I didn't. And...I missed both of you," Hild rushes the words out, almost breathily because if she doesn't get them all out, she never will. 

"That's wonderful, Hild," Uhtred says, quietly but sincerely. 

Finan can tell he's trying to be happy for her. He knows deep down they both are, but her appearance here is confusing to Finan, and so he follows with a "You really deserve it" that he hopes sounds as genuine as he means it to be, even if a bit flat.

"And I realized something yesterday," Hild says, her hands twisting around themselves, doing the thing they always do when she's nervous. "I was wrong about us. I was so incredibly wrong, and I…" 

"Yes!" Uhtred says, cutting her off, and Hild smiles. "Whatever it is, yes." 

"Uhtred, maybe let her have her moment," Finan cautions gently, getting up but not walking to them. He's rooted in place but yearns to hear the end of her sentence. "Go on." he motions her with his hand.

Hild takes a deep breath. "For so long, I was worried that being in a relationship would distract me from my focus and my career. I've worked so damn hard to make it this far, to get people to acknowledge the value I add to our department. I never wanted to be put in a situation where I'd be forced to make an impossible choice, and I really didn't know if I would be able to choose anything other than my work. And when everything happened, suddenly the idea of having to make that choice with the two of you felt even harder because, of course, part of me didn't want to say no to you. Because I  _ love _ you. Both of you. But then, after some very kind yet blunt words, I realized that I'm only where I am because I've been able to grow into this person, and it's because you both loved me without reservation. Perhaps...still love me, I hope." 

The tightness in Finan's chest he hadn't entirely known was there lift suddenly, and he watches Uhtred pull Hild in, all smiles and bright eyes. Finan moves to join them, their arms collectively embracing each other. "Of course we love you," Uhtred says to a sniffling Hild, and he kisses the tears off her cheeks and then trailing down to her mouth. As the kiss grows in earnest, Finan thinks there might be no more extraordinary moment in his life than watching the two people he loves the most kiss each other, the two people who love  _ him _ without caveats or secrecy. When they part, Hild turns to Finan, and there are still unshed tears in her eyes, but she reaches up to put her hands on his face. 

"I'm sorry," he says because he needs to say it to her. Even if Hild's decided there was some truth to his arguments, he needs her to know he's sorry for the way it unfolded. 

"I'm sorry too," she says against his lips. She kissed him softly, and Uhtred sighs contentedly, loud enough that Hild and Finan break apart with a laugh, giving him their attention.

"Can you blame me?" Uhtred asks, slipping his arms around each of their shoulders. "Now, can we eat those donuts, and I can regale Hild with how bossy you get about dusty drapery." He finishes with an accusatory look to Finan, his fingers already opening the box and closing around something chocolaty.

"Hey! Only savages accept to live in dusty drapery Uhtred Ragarson. Tell him, Hild."

Around a bite of donut, she holds her hand up in surrender and refuses to take either side. Everything still feels a bit shaky and fragile, their easy banter almost forced, but it's better than it's been for weeks now. Finan makes Hild a cup of coffee, too much sugar, and a splash of milk, and refills his before taking the only plain danish in the box. 

Silence falls around them while they munch on their treats, and Finan still has an anxious feeling nagging at the back of his mind. 

"Out with it, Finan." 

They both know him too well for him to keep something wrapped up. "The last few days were so hard, it nearly killed me. And I can't do that again. I can't have you now and lose you. I want to be sure, and I need you to be sure." He feels guilty about bringing this up. Asking for a promise of forever is way too early, and no one can predict the future. But he can't help it. 

Hild smiles softly. "I won't change my mind, Finan. I'm in." 

Finan feels too happy like too many emotions are filling him, and he'll burst at the seams by trying to contain them in. "Good." He keeps on nodding like a lunatic, at a loss for word, but his face says it all. 

"He might be broken," Uhtred says to Hild, swallowing the last of his donut and licking his fingers clean, with a glint in his eye. He stands up and finishes his lukewarm coffee in two big gulps. "We can fix him with a lot of attention. Properly take him apart before we put him back together." His right hand snakes under Finan's t-shirt, and his left pinches Hild's bum. There's nothing subtle in Uhtred's suggestion, and Hild snorts behind her hand, Finan shaking his head at this poor attempt of flirtation.

"That was horrible."

"Sure," agrees Uhtred, his t-shirt dropping on the floor, yet he knows he's won when Finan and Hild both take a step in his direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was such a labour of love, and we grew so much as writers! Thank you to everyone who read it, who stuck around with these three until the very end!


End file.
